subculture piece

The thing about fences

     A fence has two main purposes: to keep things in like your kids, toys, and dogs. And to keep things out like kids, weird strangers, and the weird stranger's dog. Books have always been my fence. For as long as I can think back, I've always had a book with me. Before I started school I would read Fancy Nancy with my mom before bed, I would get into fights with my twin about ripping up books in kindergarten, in first grade I had a teacher Ms.Lindsey who gave me a gold star sticker for helping teach another kid to read. (That's all I remember about Ms.Lindsey and the "gold" star was actually purple). As I went through 2nd grade and 3rd I realized kids would leave me alone if I had a book in my hand. Which was perfect. My book was my fence, I was able to put it up and shut everyone else out. I was never interested in Bratz dolls or how cute Troy Bolton was or anything that the other kids had to talk about. I WAS interested in going to Narnia, following the March sisters as they stumbled into women hood and watching Brian try to survive in the Canadian wilderness with only a hatchet (which is a weird parting gift to get from your mother). When I got in trouble for something and sent to my room? I would read. When I was at my Grandfather's house with nothing to do but watch old men play golf? I would read. When the awkward "talk" came up with my mother? I put my face down in my book and avoided eye contact the whole day. It was how I survived.

     Here's the thing about fences though: as good as they were at keeping things out, they were equally good at keeping things in. 

     Slowly my friends would start to leave me. In middle school, my old friends from 5th grade would all sit together at the lunch table and talk about what they were going to do after school. Constantly making plans without me. They had all hung out together over the summer, switched from rainbow sweaters and braces to skinny jeans and makeup. I was left behind. I was so focused on ignoring everybody so I could read, that I forgot they would all ignore me because I was reading. So I went through my middle school years sitting alone in the library for lunch reading The Hunger Games and whatever other book I could get my hands on. I really didn't mind. I put my fence up. Nobody would try to peer over the tops or dig a hole to see what I was doing on the other side and I never stacked my books up and tried to see what was going on on their side of things. It was mutual. I never bonded with someone over books, I never met someone who wanted to go the library with me, and I never tried to find someone. High school was the same. My reading classes were always easy. I already read all the material for the semester. I knew the answer to the questions and when some kid would ask me to do their questions or work for them I pretended not to hear and continued reading. Like all fences though, mine had to be repaired as time went on. I replaced the wood, added a new coat of paint ( I don't know much about literal fences by the way) and added a cute little gate for some people to come in and just sit. They would talk, and I would listen. The ones who got annoyed with that eventually left and the ones who didn't mind stayed. My book was my fence, and those who wanted badly enough to see what was going on my side of the fence simply just had to walk around and ask.