It Wasn't for Us //PHAN

Chapter 15

We kissed.

I need to get over it. The fact that one week or so has passed since that happen and the feeling of his mouth over mine is not getting away in my head. It’s just a kiss, not very deep, just mouth over mouth lingering for a short second. But what if, I initiate to deepen it. What if he-

“Daniel, I am talking to you.”

I haven’t noticed that a spoonful of cereal is hanging in midair whilst I am thinking and it seems like my mother is talking to me.

“Uh… Yeah?” I put down the spoon and swirl the remaining cereal in the bowl. 

“I said, let’s go out. It’s weekend, I’ve got nothing to do and, you’re also not busy.”  These past few days, my mother is always in the house. She is working as a secretary so why is she here? How did she manage to get away from her work?

“Okay.” I nod. She smiles eye bags are visible under her eyes. She’s trying to spend more time with me.

I quickly finished my breakfast. 

“Hurry up!”

--

We ended up buying new clothes and other stuff. I don’t really mind where we are going, my mother bought me new stuffs and I am happy about that, she also seems pleased with her shopping. This made me twice happy.

“I’m going into the bathroom, wait here.” I sat on the unoccupied bench and nod whilst my mother walks away leaving me with the stuffs that we bought.

We kissed and we didn’t talk about it. Maybe it’s just Phil’s whim to kiss me and I gladly accepted, which now led me into a swirling storm of thoughts inside my head and my internal organs doing somersaults every time that I am thinking about it. It’s stupid, really, the way that I am saying ‘yes’, nodding my head and not refusing for what he wanted. He’s an honest person, he says what’s on his mind and not afraid of voicing his thoughts into me, which makes me angry sometimes because how idiotic are some of his wants and likes. 

I think I quite like him. Just a little bit. Little bit

I sigh. Lean back and suddenly the world went black. Warm hands (I am pretty sure those are damn hands) are covering my eyes and a soft laughter can be heard even with loud chattering of people just behind me. My immediate reaction is of course; pull those hands away from my eyes. There are only two people who’ll pull this stunt; someone close to you or a person out of his mind.

Gladly, that person removed his or her hands on my vision and Phil appeared in front of me.

He is in either of the options.

“Hi!” He cheerfully greeted and I only nod in return. I cannot look directly into his eyes; my eyes always find its way in staring at Phil’s lips.

However, how did he know that I am here? “What are you doing here?” 

“Looking for you.” He answered and I almost choke out of my own spit. If he’s looking for me, he should check out my house. I didn’t send him a message where I am going or even said to him that I am going out.

“Uh… Okay.” He sat down beside me, our knees bumping together.

“Dan, don’t smile to other people.” 

“Oka- What?” I turn to look at him, his expression is dead serious, and the happy glee in his eyes is gone.

“You’re smiling to them too much. I want you to be happy, only with me.”

That is absurd. Totally ridiculous!

Before I could complain how stupid his idea is, he stands up and greeted my mother who is walking towards us.

--

I don’t even know if we’re still friends or something. Maybe we’re ‘friends who did some kissing and then forget about it so we’re still friends no more no less’. So, here I am talking to him, one on one.

“My mother is just somewhere in this house. No shouting.” Phil nodded and sat down comfortably on my bed. “Phil what’s wrong?” I cross my arms on my chest and stare down at him.

“Nothing.”

“You don’t want me to smile to others?”

“Yes.”

I took a deep breathe, “Why?”

“No one other than me deserves you.” This is insane. I thought were normal now. I’ll admit that he made me stop talking to my friends when he’s on visibility and sometimes whether he’s near with me or not, I didn’t bother talking to them anymore. I’m a bad friend. A really, really bad one. I am ashamed of myself.

“Are you jealous?” That’s the only reason why he wouldn’t want me to smile and talk to others, right?

“Yes, very jealous.” He stands up and walks towards me, “I don’t want anybody near you, I don’t want to see you with somebody else other than me.” 

“But we’re just friends!” I exclaimed but not that loud. I don’t want my mother thinking we’re fighting. Which clearly we are.

“Do friends kiss each other?” He caught me off guard.

“No, but you’re the one who did the first move!”

“And then you like it. No, you love it.” His distance to me is really close.

“No, uh...” I caught myself staring, again at his lips. “No. Phil.” I push him away.

It seems like it irked something inside him, “Damn it. Just accept it already.” He turn around, “I’ll do anything for you. Make those people get away from you at any cost.”