Dear Reader,
February 6th, 2018
8 days till Valentines Day.
It's been a few of uneventful days and nights sense I've shared my recent tragedies. This regular week started off with the Super Bowl 52, I truly thought the Eagles were going to lose. Little did I know, they scored a touchdown and the amount of points caused them pulled ahead and win. I got invited to multiple super bowl parties, but this lack of motivation towards people just made me want to watch it alone. Don't you ever feel like rejecting an invitation because you just didn't feel like it? It really makes me SELFISH, doesn't it? This isn't working out for me anymore, I'm just stuck in this nightmare, and I can't wake up. All these problems that cause me to take the blame and hate myself, but I'm always known to blame others. I just can't understand these feelings, this must be the feeling of 'being nothing', this feeling makes me useless. It's to dark to see outside, but I can imagine the pine trees and gray clouded sky.
I can't go on without them knowing, knowing that I love them. I want this feeling to go, they are a grade under mine. It always feels like every time we see each other, we both aren't in this position to talk and that really pains me. I look back on this, we have always bonded over similar things. I could tell we were trying to impress one another, like two male birds trying to impress a female mate. A fight that would only win when the female chooses. We were young souls then, just trying to make it out in the world. They can replace him, the one I tried so hard to love and he only threw me away. Are you ever split between people to love? Neither would say yes, and both would say no.
I'm just a paper plane being aimed and thrown towards person to person, but the floor won't let go of me. I always give them paper cuts and they cry, but it was unintentional. I can't reach them fully then they walk over and pick me up just to throw me to the next kid. Just put me in the recycling bin already, I'm surprised the teacher hasn't noticed you all. I'm not having fun anymore, the front of me is destroyed and crinkled. The recycling bin is almost empty because everyone will just you put in the trash.
Stay safe, but keep your environment safer. <3
~a.c.smith
YOU ARE READING
Dear Reader. Don't Read.
PoetryA "book" on my thoughts about the world I'm living through and how I portray and deal with it. It's not that intriguing, but I wouldn't feel bad if you were to just pass this.
