The Fear List (The Fear Series, #1) ON HOLD

Chapter 12 - Clown Face

Chapter 12 - Molly's POV

*Tuesday afternoon 18/05/14 - Bet: Day 7*

Tears fall down my raw cheeks as I stare in into the bathroom mirror. They've left the room so I can now let them fall freely. The red stain of lipstick is vibrant as it covers the lower part of my face. It's been there for the last five minutes but I can't seem to find the strength to wash it off. It's almost as if I want it to stay there. It shows me what the consequences are when I speak up. It proves to me why I stay mute, this is what happens when I act like I can stand up for myself.

I let a few more tears fall until I finally snap out of my depressive haze. I grab some tissue from one of the toilet stalls and run it under the tap, making it damp. I run it across my skin roughly, taking my now unexpected anger out on myself.

'Now you look like a clown because let's face it you're a joke, your whole life is a joke and frankly if you think you would ever deserve someone like Ren then that is just the biggest joke of all.'

Ashley's cruel words run through my mind endlessly as I continue to clean my face. Is that what everyone thinks of me, that I'm a joke? She was right though, I'd never deserve someone like Ren. Why did I think that she would go easy on me, that she was going to do my make up and let me be on my way? How could I be that naive?

I drop the redden tissue into the bin and look back at my reflection. I meet sad hazel eyes, they look defeated. I close my eyes, not wanting to look at my face anymore. There is still a tinge of redness covering around my mouth but hopefully no one will notice. As I calm my nerves I make my way out of the toilets, remembering Ashley's parting words.

'If I see you with him again then you better watch your back.'

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When I walk into the cafeteria I quickly look for Elle still debating if I should tell her what just happened. However when I see our table empty a frown covers my face, momentarily making all thoughts of Ashley vanish.

Class finished twenty five minutes ago so she should be in here by now. I hear a round of laughter which stops my current search for my best friend. Looking over in the direction the voices came from my eyes land on the popular table. I'm taken back when I see none other than the very best friend that was absent from our usual table. Ethan is sat next to her, his arm slung over her shoulders. What is she doing at that table?

In all circumstances I should be ecstatic with this new development. Having lunch with the popular crowd would be anyone's wish right? But no, not me. Why would I want to be with the people that treat me as if I'm invisible or like I'm the bug they just stepped on? No, that's why I'm comfortable with where we sit, with just me and Elle. Although it seems that Ethan and Ren are new additions to our small group.

I'm just glad that I don't see Ashley anywhere because I don't think I could sit at the same table as her without scurrying away like a scared mouse. Even though she's not here I think I might wait until later to tell Elle about what she did to me. Elle's eyes flick upwards roaming around the room and when she spots me she quickly waves me over. I slowly make my way to her, dreading having to spend my remaining lunch with these people. Once l reach her side she dives straight into questioning me.

"Hey Molly what took you so long?" I open my mouth to reply with a lie but she cuts me off. "Never mind, there's a seat next to Dan which you can have, we are sitting here today. Ethan wanted to introduce me to some of his friends, is that not just the sweetest thing" she grins brightly as me.

"Hey everyone this is Molly" she informs them after a minute of me staying rooted to the spot. Their heads turn to see who Elle has just introduced but when they get a look at me they just shrug and go back to their conversations. Way to make me feel welcome.