Unsaid

Introducing: A

He said he wanted me.

I opened up my story with him because

He was me

But I was not him.

Like a repetitive allegory

He seeped deep within

The crevices of my soul

Consuming me.

Owning me.

Until one day he was

Me.

But that was yesterday

And old news

And memories are nothing but

Wingless butterflies

Dangling in the wind

Living on the sleeves of

Mother Nature's mercy.

I am A.

A is me.

I am not my heartbreak 

Even though right now my 

Heart aches

It. Still. Beats.

Beating

Rushing

Thriving in my chest

No matter 

Its hollowness.

He no longer defines me

Although definitions

Can be key to understanding

Who I was when he was

Beside me.

I have to let him go

I need to let him go

I need to say

That one word

No.

There's no choice

The universe has spoken

It's voice bellowing through the stars

Shinning upon my feet like 

The moon glistening on the water.

Let him go.

I can't

But I must.

I can't

But I must.

I am A.

A is me.

Why can't I get rid

Of this shame

Welling up inside me?

Shameful of failure

Shameful of loneliness

Shameful that once again 

I am stuck 

Unguided

In the wilderness.

These words do not rhyme 

Because they no longer fall into place

He was my rhythm.

My Muse.

What more do I have to say 

If his name is not dripping 

Off my lips

Like honey coated candy.

What more can I do

Without his arms holding me close

Pulling me in

Whispering

Sweet sweet whispers

That now reek of lies and deception.

Do I really prefer a 

Beautiful facade

Over the truth?

I don't know.

Feminism. I should be

Strong. 

Why is it 2018 and 

I still can't move on?

I need him

I want him. 

Why can't I have him

And still be me.

Because I am A

And can never Be

B.

Beware, broken heart

You will love again

Even if I have

To put you back together

With my own two hands.

Even if I have to climb

The highest peak

and beg the sun to shine within

You will love

Thrive

Beat

With or without 

Him.