Pin-Up Boy

x 1

[A/N: this'll be in Godt's POV]

Why.. Why is our world unfair??

I remember having a tea party at your room when you were 4 and I was 8..

"Bas, this is for girls!" I said to you, shaking my head due to your weirdness.

"But P'Godt, Bas likes to pway twea party!" You said and pouts.

My mom told me that we were inseparable back in the days. I guess, that's the result of being neighbors and only child.

We grew up spending our lives together, I treat you as a my little brother and as a best friend. But, I didn't know it'll be more than that.

I knew you were gay.

C'mon, you have too much pink in you whenever we go to school! /chuckles/ and that's the reason why they bully you and why I end up always being in the headmaster's office with bleeding knuckles for beating the shit out of your bullies.

That's how much I want to protect you Bas..

I didn't notice that back in those days, I was falling way deeper than I expected to be. Well, at those time, I'm out of your league, ain’t I? I watch you fanboy over those jocks. You're popular, I'm just your normal looking best friend.

I remember the time whenever you go gaga over boy bands. 6Moons, that's the name right? You've been in every place where they were. /sigh/ Bas, you became so distant with me before.

The teenage years, that's the time I hate it the most. I rarely see you, we barely talk. Yes, we still go to the same school and live next to each other. But, you grew distant. You spend more time with those people who share same fandom as you are.

Where does P'Godt in Bas' life now? Just a part of your colorful childhood memory?

Those were the times I missed you the most. But I'm scared to show it. Scared that you will push me away because you don't feel the same.

I remember it was in college when we started talking again, our parent made us live in one apartment. It was going smooth, I can say that I have my best friend back again. I watch you laugh and be upset. I feel like I'm perfect whenever you're around.

But it was during our last year when I walked into your room and watched you hanging up a poster of a new band called SBFive.

"How long this one gonna last, Bas?" I asked, crossing my arms against my chest.

"It's different this time, P'Godt." You said, way too happy. I saw a glint of love in your eyes.

Please. No.

But the world betrayed me.

Here I am, writing the last part of this diary before I go back to reality.

"If only you knew.. What it's like to lost your everything in a snap of a finger."

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I sigh as i close my notebook before shoving it back to it's secret place. Stood up against my full length mirror; fixing my bow tie.

"P'Godt, C'mon, we're gonna be late!" Kimmon said, pounding against the door.

"Jesus, calm down will you?! The wedding will start after lunch! It's just 10am!" I shouted, still rooted at my same spot; not wanting to go.

I hurried my way down my pad to avoid further nagging from Kimmon. I watch him drive our way to the church.

"Nervous?" He asked me.

Am I? I asked myself.

Yes, I am.

Before the wedding starts, you come to me all jolly and happy. I see sparks in your eyes.

"P'Godt!! You're here!!" You said and tackled me into a hug.

"Of course, I am. You know I wouldn't miss it for the world, right?" Lies rolled out on my tongue.

"I know!" You grinned at me, "oh, you met him already right? My husband, P'Tae?"

And I watch you motion him to come closer to us.. I faked a smile.. It hurts. I really does.

I never imagined that someday I'd be giving you away to one of those boys on a poster in our old room back in college.

FIN