When the Light Shines

the norm

The rain tapped lightly against the second story window. The clouds immersed the sun turning the light spring air into a gloomy existence. She sat at the small wooden stool and stared into the distance, resting her chin on the knuckles of her small hands. She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes, imagining the cool droplets of water striking her face. She felt happy. She felt safe. As if the natural elements of the world were her army. She was quickly sucked out of her daydream by a loud crashing from downstairs. "Ah shit" her mother yelled, as she raced down the steep stairs to see shattered pieces of glass scattered on the dark hardwood floor. Her mother stood in the middle of the pieces, barely able to balance her fragile body.

She walked over cautiously while saying "stay still and ill clear a path" reaching for her mother's hand. She went to reach halfway and toppled over, wedging a piece of glass into her foot. Her mother winced with pain and slapped the girl retorting "look what the fuck you made me do Toni! I can't count on your ass for anything. Just like your damn father". Toni held her reddened cheek and resist the tears from rolling down her face. She walked to the kitchen with her head down as she grabbed the broom to clean the mess that would be her fault tomorrow morning. By time she came back, her mother was passed out on the couch. She let out the breath she seemed to have been holding since she came downstairs.

Cleaning up the shattered glass, she walked upstairs to the bathroom. Closing the door behind her, she saw the small bruise already forming on her cheek. She wanted to cry, scream, even punch a hole in the mirror. But instead, she opened the cupboard and took the small white Tylenol bottle from the shelf. She emptied two from her hand and closed the door quietly. She reached on the top and grabbed the first aid kit as she traced her steps back downstairs. She went to the end of the couch and started to pick out the shard embedded deeply inside her foot. The liquor reeked from out her mother pores, a smell that she would never get used to, no matter how long she was around it.

Reaching success, she laid both pills on the table by her as she headed back into the kitchen. She opened the door to the fridge. Barely any food was there, which meant another night of tossing and turning, trying to ignore the pain of no food in her stomach. She grabbed a water bottle from the bottom shelf and the bucket from the corner. Opening the freezer door, she reached in and took a small bag of frozen peas. Resting the bag on her swollen face, the slight pain made her wince but brought comfort at the same time.

Walking back to her mother's side, she dropped the bucket and placed the bottle on the table. She climbed the stairs slowly, one by one, making she not to wake her mom. She walked into her room, laying on her bed that sat on the floor. Toni sighed and rolled over to admire the paintings of stars she had on wall. Living in the city, she rarely got to see them shine bright. Getting sucked back into her day dream, she imagined laying in an open field as the sky was splattered with stars. Snapped out of what seemed like minutes, she look at the glowed as it glowed 1:45 a.m. Turning onto her left side, she rested her head against the pillow, slowly drifting off to sleep.

Waking up to her alarm at 7:30, Toni groans and covers her head with the pillow muttering "this be that bullshit".Finally rolling over, she gets ready for school. She decided to wear a long sleeved black shirt, light blue ripped jeans, and checkered vans with her hair in a neat bun. Slipping on her last shoe, she hears another crashing of glass from downstairs. Looking at the clock she thinks its too early for her to already be drunk. Yelling and screaming followed with more bumps and bangs. She cautiously exited her room and crept down the steep stairs.

Her mom stood in the corner with a cut down the side of her cheek. The middle of the room stood a tall dark-skinned man with a knife in his hand. She spoke loudly "Mom, you alright"?Her mother turned her eyes in Toni's direction. "Just go to school Toni, this isn't none of ya business". Toni kept her feet glued to the bottom of the stairs, contemplating what to do next. The man spoke menacingly "this is her business. You don't pay up, you know what happens to that little face of hers". Toni widened her eyes and whispered, "what is he talking about" as she cut her eyes to the man with his back still to her.

He turned around and grinned, showing is row of mangled and yellow teeth. Toni took a step back and cringed at the sight. She reached in her back pocket and pulled out her phone. "leave this house now or I'll have the cops here before you can blink". Her mom cut her eyes and said, "call the cops and ill beat your little ass".Toni stood back wide mouthed at how she's protecting the unknown man. "listen to your momma" the man said. "I get arrested, someone who isn't so nice will come and do the same again". Toni hesitantly slipped the phone back into her pocket and clenched her fists to her side.

The man turned back to her mom and said, "have what's mines, or she's collateral".Toni clenched her jaw before saying "over my fucking dead body". The man just laughed and walked out the house, slamming the door behind him. Toni looked at her mother take a swig from the bottle while lighting a cigarette. "clean this when you get home, Im going out". Toni widened her eyes in disbelief at how calm her mom was. As if this random man hadn't threatened both of their lives. Dabbing the cut with the napkin from the table, her mom nudged past her going up the stairs.

When she reached he top of the stairs, she turned around and said "you can definitely see how big you in that tight ass shirt. No wonder no lil boy takes you serious. Its trash when you get home". Toni watched her from the corner of her eye as she turned out of sight. Looking down at her stomach, it seemed to have grown 10 times than when she first put it on. Toni picked her book bag as a tear threatened to slip out her eye. She took a deep breath while standing in the doorway as she let the warm sun hit her face. She closed the door behind her, not even bothering to lock it. Nothing was valuable anyways.