If I could I would feel nothing

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"Underneath it all, the truth is that I really feel like shit"

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"Underneath it all, the truth is that I really feel like shit"

Val's POV

After the day Billy left my room, Jonathan actually came over so I could help him with his school work. We did that for a couple of hours and he stayed for dinner.

Now it's the next day and I'm getting ready for school, also let me tell you the times school as us waking up it not okay. Waking up at 6:30am and being able to function is not working out for me.

Once I was done getting ready I walked downstairs and in the distance I hear my mom talking to someone, I slowly start to creep down the stairs so she doesn't hear me.

"Stop calling, she has a great life, and that doesn't involve you in it" she said hearing her hang up the phone. I walk into the kitchen where she was at and she looked stressed.

I frown because I hate when my mom is so stressed and upset.

So being the nosy child I am, I had to ask because I knew it was bugging her "who was that?"

She jumped a little at the sound of my voice because she didn't expect anyone to say anything.

"It was no one" I frown at her because she's not telling me the truth, we promise to always tell each other everything. My mom is like my best friend and I tell her everything.

"Honesty mom" I said reminding her our promise we made.

She signed "it was your birth father Val"

When those words left her mouth I felt numb, I didn't know what to say or think.

Yes me and Steve are considered step siblings and his dad is considered my step dad. But too me they are my brother and dad, you don't have to be blood to be family.

My dad left when I was a two years old. My mom took care of me all by herself and that's what I admire about her, she took care of me with no help.

My mom then meet Steve's dad when I turn three years old, they hit it off instantly and a year later after they got together, they got married. He's my dad and Steve is my brother, I grew up with Steve since I was three.

Everyone thinks Steve and his dad are my blood, I never told anyone my actual dad left my mom and I, not even my best friend Nancy.

"Are you okay sweetie?" I hear my mom say as I snap out of my thoughts. I didn't notice I got such lost in my thoughts.

"Yeah" I mumble.

"Oh no, don't get closed off" she said sadly.

I don't like talking about my feelings. I always feel like they are not important so I just keep them to myself. 

"I'm not, I'm going to walk to school love you" I said walking out the door, I hear my mom calling out for my name but I chose to ignore her.

I just can't understand why Robert, my birth father, would call my mom. If he's thinking about coming back into my life then he can just not waste his breath and time. He can't leave my life for 15 years and then try to crawl back in.

I continue to walk, my thoughts running wild, and I felt numb. I sudden hear a car pull up next to me. I look over to see Steve's car next to me.

"Get in Val" He said reaching over and opening the passenger door "I'm not taking no for answer either"

I got into the car without protesting "you didn't have to leave early" I said.

"I was worried about you"

"I'm fine" I said mumbling.

"Look-" I cut him off.

"I don't want to talk about it" I said and I'm glad he didn't argue and just drove to school.

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School was a drag I didn't really talk to anyone. When my friends asked me if I was okay, I just put on my fake smile and tell them I was just tired.

The end of the day was here which I was waiting for so I could just go home and lock myself away in my room.

"Val!" I hear someone call my name, I chose to ignore it because my goal is to just get home as fast as possible.

"Val!" Someone grabbed my arm, I turn around to see Nancy holding a concern expression. "I was calling your name"

I lightly smile "sorry I didn't hear you" lies.

"I was just going to ask you if you wanted to hang out?" she asked holding her books up to her chest. I shake my head at her.

"I'm sorry I can't, we are doing this family thing at home" I completely lie too her because if I just told her I was going home to lock myself in my room, she would force me to hang out.

I start to walk away but she pulls me back again. "What's been up with you all day? I know something is wrong" she said.

I just shake my head "nothing is wrong Nancy, I just really didn't get any sleep last night I swear" trying to convince her the best way I could. 

She ends up just nodding her head at me and saying goodbye. That whole situation just made me realize I don't want to go home now because my family is just going to ask me questions no matter what.

I then see one person who would take my mind off things and wouldn't ask me questions: Billy

I walk up to him as he's about to get in his car "take me somewhere" I said standing in front of him.

"Am I dreaming or did you just say that to me?" He said smirking. I tilt my head lightly smiling.

"Only if you take me away for a couple of hours I don't care where" I said. I honestly never thought in a million years I would be basically forcing Billy Hargrove to hang out.

"Get in princess"

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