Kissing The Moon Goodbye - A Midnight Mafia Novel

Fifty

Kate       

       Gripping my upper arm Alessio dragged me into his room. "Stay here." He grunted and released me. He began undressing from the saucy clothes as he left the room.

"I am only because this conversation of ours isn't finished." I called after him. After a moment I sat down on the end of his bed, immediately after I shot back up to my feet. I couldn't sit on Alessio's bed, I crossed my arms over my chest and looked around the big, lonely room. It was odd, to be in Alessio's room. The last time I had been in Alessio's bedroom-

Well that was a long time ago.

I was feeling an array of emotions. Nostalgia and excitement I tried to push aside. Alessio was exciting, but toxic I reminded myself. We were toxic. I tried to focus on being angry, Charlie was already more exposed than I'd wanted her to be in her whole life! And yet I couldn't help but think about Alessio. His father was dead? I was hardly a Ugo fan myself, but still. Alessio going all the way to Italy? When? He'd never missed a weekend with Charlie, he'd never been unreachable, his composure had never flickered to lead me to believe anything was wrong. I thought of Alessio standing alone at his father's casket, would he weep? Would he spit upon his grave? Was he alone? He and Penelope had been together at the time, Sergio was apparently there, I've no doubt in celebration...

Wasn't this the sort of thing I should know? Sure we weren't together anymore but shouldn't we still tell each other things? Shouldn't I know if my daughter's grandfather was dead?

Not as though he'd ever once been permitted to see her...not as though she knew he existed...

I looked down at Alessio's shoes, perfectly parallel, the noses touching the wall, I nudged one slightly with my foot. The imperfection would bother him, I nudged it again until the was completely diagonal. Charlie needed safety and stability. She needed, no we needed Nigel.

I opened his wardrobe, rows of identical shirts hung all facing the same direction, their hangers each a finger width apart. I took several hangers out and turned them to face the wrong direction. Unbuttoned one two, left one drop to the wardrobe floor and turned the other inside out before returning it to its hanger. I hesitated, tightened the material of one in my fist.

For a flicker of a moment I remembered the nights when I wore nothing else to bed. I could remove my saucy clothing now, put one of these shirts on, let the smooth cotton material hug my shoulders and hang loosely over the rest of my body. What would he do if he were to come in and see me in one of these shirts again, what would I do. I pulled a sleeve towards me, and then dropped it and closed the wardrobe with a heavy sigh.

Charlie, focus on Charlie Kate. This isn't what she needs, not the fighting, the mafia, the excitement, she just needed safety. Safety and stability. Nothing else mattered.

I turned one bottle of cologne to face the mirror rather than the room. The bottles upon the dresser were organized with the labels facing out, the tallest in the back and shortest in the front. I messed them up as well. I opened a drawer and unfolded a few pairs of socks, opened another door and shut it quickly after.

I glanced towards the door as though he and the swat team would come barging in at any moment. When neither did, I pulled the drawer open slowly and picked up the velvety box inside. My mind fluttered to a place ducking underneath a tree hiding the best we could under a picnic blanket as a storm raged around us, Alessio in his silly flannel shirt I had never once seen again.