English
Teacher: How many of you didn't do the reading?
*Me and several others raise hand*
Teacher: Alright Shade (she said le real name so), why didn't you do the reading?
Me: I'm comfortable with my grammar and if I needed help, my mom could help me. (me being straight up honest because I AM A WRITER AFTER ALL. I DON'T MAKE JUST RANDOM BOOKS)
Teacher: Nothing against you but that offends me. *starts ranting*
*one half Kankri lecture later*
Teacher: And what does anyone think this scholarship require? *I raise le hand* Yes Shade?
Me: Grammar
*half of class erupts in snickers*
Teacher: *is pissed at me for probably the rest of the whole year*
Math
Kid: I wanna go to Chik Fil A
Teacher: (jokingly) I'd like some nuggets.
Me: *from halfway across the room* Could ya get me some fries?
---
Same kid: *trying to prevent this girl from texting her mom even tho she got permission*
Me: It's called free speech you communist.
---
*Playing Kahoot*
Me: OH MY GOD IS THAT WE ARE NUMBER ONE!
Teacher: I just found this so...
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Girl: There are only two genders.
Me: Excuse me, but science has proved that gender is a spectrum. Go read a book for once.
*Girl later says something else dumb and I call her out on it*
Me: You know what that smell is? It's me turning the over on to a nice 420 degrees and putting our roast in the oven for 30 minutes so it turns nice and perfect
*she's getting red*
Me: Oh, do you need some ice for that burn?
Teacher: Let's wait until we finish our work to roast people
Me: I'm already done so.
Other kids: Did she come up with that on the spot? No, she's looking them up on her phone
Me: *is playing Paper.io and dominating*
Lunch
Idiot: Come here loli (referring to me and trying to get me to preform a sex act after one of my newer friends said I'm the loli)
Me: *gives him the bird*
---
Friend: *mentions something*
Idiot: *mentions dick*
Me: You are what you eat
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Friend: And your Garterbelt (talking about Panty and Stocking characters)
Me: Y'all need fucking jesus
Chem
Dumbass: *knocks over model skeleton in our class*
Me: Guess he's skeledone with this life!
Dumbass: *tries to fix it but it breaks more*
Me: Jeez, I know my puns are bad but at least they aren't bonebreaking!
*after class*
Cool dude who I kinda want to learn more about: Hey, you got anymore puns?
Me: Not at the moment.
*le beginning of the year*
Cool Teacher: Alright Shade get up there.
*I stand in the middle of the classroom*
Cool Teach: And *mentions this one kid who was in my Psych class who I didn't know well at the time*
Me: *holding the skeleton's hand since it was there*
Cool Teach: No, hold his hand! *referring to the boy*
Me: *about as red as the orbs Lon'qu was summoned from*
Class: *probably ships us now*
Me: Oh god make this end....
----
Cool Teach: Man I need to work out more and lose some weight.
Girl: Why don't you not eat?
Me: *sits right inbetween both of them so I heard the whole thing* Well if you don't eat, your body goes into starvation mode meaning you gain weight and not lose what you DO eat.
Cool Teach: Daym.
