Too Beautiful To Break

Distrust

Lamar L/n^^^

-Namjoon-

"Joonie, look!" I looked up to where y/n was pointing, intent to see what he found so important. I followed my eyes up to the sky and was met with a breathtaking sight, although, of course, it could never compare to y/n.

The mellow sun peeked out from behind the drifting clouds, bleeding into a peachy orange color that brightened to a soft pink. Night was fighting day and it was beautiful.

"It's gorgeous" y/n finally said as he continued looking upwards in complete awe. His thick, parted lips taking shape as a 'o' as his wide eyes drank in the sight before him.

"It really was a good idea for me to come out here, I never want to leave"

My chest tightened just thinking about watching him leave me, us.

There would be that unbearable feeling of loneliness, although I had the boys, but with y/n, he made me truly feel complete. From his messy curls, to the soles of his feet, he would be mine.

"Namjoonie!" I zoned in on y/n as he cupped my cheeks "You're crying, whats wrong?" He wiped away the hot tears with the pads of his thumbs. I shook my head and grabbed his hands, holding them in mine contently "Nothing, its just- its so surreal, I never saw such beauty in my life" he giggled.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately? You're beautiful too Namjoon, now lets hurry back to the dorms before it starts raining" his words were so selfless.

If only he knew I was talking about him, not the sunset.

-Y/n-

"I don't smoke cigarettes
But I know you like to
So I face an entire pack
Just to be there with you
And I never fall for boys
But you got me trippin'-"

The lyrics ended there leaving me slightly bothered at my lack of progress lately but I couldn't think straight after my kiss with Jungkook. It was causing me to slowly deteriorate and I didn't know how to handle it but keep it pent up so that when it finally broke me I would pick the pieces of myself up again and put them back together silently.

I shut my book and got up, leaving it there, before going back to me, Joonie, and Taehyung's room. I wanted to cuddle with the giant man seeing as he was the only one who knew to bring me back to my senses. If he ever has a significant other I was going to let them know how thankful they better be for such an amazing man like him.

My thoughts had pulled me so much out of reality I didn't realize I had bumped into someone until I was being shaken back to my dimension. I looked at the analyzing, brown eyes and sloped nose and my body realized who it was before my mind as I moved back immediately.

"Good morning" his voice, that voice was something I wished I could adore for its tired undertone, the perfect amount of rasp that accompanied it but I only felt repulsion because of what he did, what I did. I shouldn't have let my feelings override my common sense, but God, just to feel some sort of romantic affection was the only thing that made me feel worth it, worth every breath I took, every second of my time on Earth, every memory.

"Can we talk?" his eyes were pleading and my throat closed up seeing I truly was trapped with nowhere else to go but back to Namjoon's studio but I couldn't find myself to retreat back there.

Trapped

Trapped

Trapped

I felt like a prisoner in my own skin his stare felt so harsh and undermining and in a second I was back in high school.

I walked through the hallways avoiding the looks people had been giving me. I had never felt so small in my life at their disgusted, or sympathetic faces.