Thirst No.1

Thirst - Eight (ii)

I have to lie, I have no choice. "I don't know."

     We arrive at my house. No one has come while I was away, I can tell. I activate the security system. It is the most elaborate available on the market. Every wire of every section of fence around my house is now heavily electrified. There are motion sensors and laser beams and radar tracking the perimeter. I know it will not stop Yaksha for a second if he wishes to come for me. At a minimum he was twice my strength and speed. In reality I think he is much more powerful than that.

     Ray wanders around my house, taking in the sights. He pauses and looks out over the ocean. A waning moon, half full, hangs over the dark shadow of the water. We face west, but behind us, in the east, I detect a hint of dawn.

     "What's next? he asks.

     "What do you want to do next?"

     He faces me. "You are waiting for this man to come here."

     "Perhaps. He could come."

     "You said something about arming yourself. Do you have guns here?"

     "Yes. But I'm not going to give you one. It would not help."

     "Are you some kind of expert with guns?"

     "Yes."

     He is exasperated. "Who the hell are you, Sita? If that is even your real name."

     "It is my real name. Few people know it. It is the name my father gave me. The man I am talking about-he is the one who murdered my father."

     "Why don't we call the police?"

     "This man is very powerful. He has almost unlimited resources. The police would not be able to stop him if he wants to hurt us."

     "Then how are you going to stop him?"

     "I don't know if I can."

     "Then why are we here? Why don"t we just get in the car and drive away?"

     His question is an interesting one; it has a certain logic to it. I have considered the option since disposing of Slim. Yet I do not believe that I can run successfully from Yaksha, not once he has got me in his sights, which he obviously does. I do not like to postpone the inevitable.

     "You can drive away if you want," I say. "You can take my car and go home. Or you can take my car and drive to Los Angeles. That might be the best thing for you to do. I can tell you for a fact that while you are here you are in extreme danger."

     "Then why did you bring me here?"

     I turn away. "I do not know why. But I think-I don't know."

     "What?"

     "This man-his real name is Yaksha-he knows you are my friend. You are part of the equation that deals with me-in his mind."

     "What do you mean?"

     I turn back to Ray. "He has been watching me since I saw your father, I'm sure of it. But he has not come for me personally. Oh, he sent his people after me, but that is not the same thing, not to him and not to me."

     "You think that I afford you some protection?"

     "Not exactly. More, I think he is curious about my relationship with you."

     "Why?"

     "I do not make friends easily. He knows that much."

     Ray sighs. "I don't even know if I am your friend."

     His words sting, more than the bullet I was hit with earlier in the night. I reach out and touch his face. Such a beautiful face, so like Rama's. even though they do not look that much alike. Their essence is similar. Maybe Krishna was right. Maybe their souls are the same, if there are such things. I doubt I have one.

     "I care more for you than I have cared for anyone in a long time," I say. "I am much older than I look. I have been more lonely than I have been willing to admit to myself. But when I met you, that loneliness eased. I am your friend Ray, even if you do not want to be mine."

     He stares at me, as if he, too, knows me, then lowers his lips to kiss my hand that touches him. His next words come to me as if from far away.

     "Sometimes I look at you and you do not look human."

     "Yes."

     "You're like something carved from glass."

     "Yes."

     "Old but always new."

     "Yes."

     "You said you are a vampire."

     "Yes."

     But he does not ask me if I am a vampire. He knows better. He knows I will tell him the truth, and he does not want to hear it. He kisses my hand again, and I lean forward to kiss his lips. Long and deep-he does not smother this time and I am glad. He wants to make love, I can tell, and I am very glad.

     I started a roaring blaze in the living room fireplace, many logs piled high. There is a rug from ancient Persia on top of the wall-to-wall carpeting in front of he fire; it is where I sometimes sleep, when the sun is high. We undress slowly; I let Ray take off my clothes. He touches my body, and I kiss him front head to foot. Then we lie down together and the sex is a wonder to him, as well as to me. I am careful not to hurt him.

     Later, when he is asleep, I go for an automatic weapon in the attic. I load the clip carefully, making sure all the parts are well oiled, ready for use. Then I return to Ray's side and put the weapon under my pillow. Ray is exhausted; I stroke his head and whisper words that will cause him to sleep away the entire day. I suspect Yaksha will not come until the following night-a fresh night for a fresh slaughter. It would be his way. I know my gun will not stop him. I have only Krishna's promise to protect me. But what is a promise of a God I don't even know I believe in?

     Yet one thing is certain. If Krishna was not God, he was the most extraordinary human who ever lived. Even more powerful than all the vampires combined. I think of him as I lie beside Ray, and I wonder about my feelings of love for the boy. If they are just my longing for the face of Krishna hidden inside him. I do remember Krishna's face well. It was a face that would be impossible to forget even after five thousand years.