Band Aids || Mark Lee

C19

It was when the group had returned back to the HQ and placed their weapons back where they were kept, empty magazines filling the designated bin, that Eunbi finally had time to sit down breathe. It was late, technically early morning really, so all the rest of the boys headed to their rooms to get some sleep before the school day dawned in a few hours. It was when Eunbis hand lay on the door knob to her room she realised why she had walked so slowly up the stairs, walked with Donghyuck to his door before coming to her own. She didn't want to be alone. She knew the minute she was alone all the things she had done under the stars would become far to real.

Letting out a heavy sigh her dainty hand slide from the metal as she turned around, heading towards the bathroom in hopes of washing the dried blood off her hand. It was her right hand that had blood laced around her fingers, the same hand that had held a gun to a man's head. A man who had adorned a wedding ring on his left finger, a picture of his family in his fallen wallet. A man who had a life, and a man who she had stripped of just that.

The water didn't seem to leave the faucet fast enough as Eunbis scrubbed away at her skin, the blood mixing with water before steaming off her hand in a pale red. Her hands began to shake as the tears started to drip from her eyes, making a gentle splash as the hit the dirty water in the sink. Her damp hands fell onto her lap as she sunk to her knees, the weight of her actions all to heavy on her shoulders. She had murdered someone, three people in fact. She had always joked about it, saying how she would kill her friends when the annoyed her, but she never thought she truly would.

A hand placed itself onto Eunbis shoulder but she couldn't even manage a yelp of surprise through her sobs. She couldn't bring herself to look at the hands owner as it slowly rubbed circles on her back, the other pulling her into their chest. Taking in his smell Eunbi instantly knew who it was, but taking a gentle hold of his shirt the girls tears didn't stop, nor did they when she was gently picked off the ground and carried out of room. It was only after the went down the stairs and into the living room did they stop, the older boy sitting down with the girl still curled up on his lap, sobbing into his shirt.

Words didn't seem like they would be useful in the moment, so his hand just kept running in circles on her small back until the tears finally lessened. Eunbi slowly raised her head from his chest, looking into his eyes for a second before nearly bursting out into tears again.

"Im sorry" at her words the boy froze up, his eyes widening slightly.

"Why are you saying sorry?"

"I'm pathetic, I didn't even help much and yet I'm balling like I did it all"

"No" Marks voice was low, and there was something in it Eunbi couldn't pin. "You are not pathetic. You got are crying because you are mourning for those who died due to your actions, and that makes you stronger than any of us. You have the bravery to look at what you did and feel bad. To feel bad for those who you killed. To feel guilt and to feel sorry"

Mark took a second to take in a breathe, debating how to word his thoughts in the best way possible before speaking directly into the girls ear. "No of us could do that, it would break us"

"How do you do that" Her voice was shaking, and Marks heart broke as he watched the tears slip from her eyes and dribble down her flushed cheeks. "How do you not feel guilty?"

"We do. Nobody could not feel guilty after taking someone's life, but we are used to it. We act all tough but we feel bad as well" This time it was Mark who had a small tear slip from his eye, which shocked him more than the girl in front of him. He had never cried in front of anyone except Donghyuck and Taeyong, but for some reason he knew he could trust the girl on his lap as she reached up, taking the long sleeve of her shirt and wrapping it around her hand, wiping the tear from his cheek.

""I can tell myself all day, be heartless, fuck em', but in all reality I have a big heart and can't treat people badly, it's not me. But it has to be, its what I was made to do" Tears continued to slip from his eyes, his small chokes of air turning to full sobs as Eunbi slid from his lap and pulled him into her despite the tears dripping from her eyes as well.

"I was created to strip lungs of their breath, destroy pretty little things and burn them to the ground. To bring society to its knees and hear my name spoken in only fearful whispers. I was made to be a monster" His choked words were breaking Eunbis heart. He didn't deserve to be forced to think of himself that way. No one did.

"Then I was created to prove that wrong"

She had barely said anything, a short sentence, but Marks sobs became much harsher. Her words were different to him, they meant so much. He had always been told that he was a monster, evil, and although no on in NCT thought of him that way, it hurt that everyone assumed him to be some sort of demon. He was a young boy, barely even an adult, and he had never felt the love and nature of a family until he joined NCT. And he had never felt so loved as when Eunbi has simply muttered a few words. And he knew that he had fallen for the girl who was holding him close to her.