Trying to Hold On

Chapter 1: Trying to Survive

I don't understand how most people can break-up with someone and move on. I can't for some reason he makes me feel like I'm worth something. My friend always tells me these things and then when I don't listen she gets mad at me. I ask her if she wants me to be happy, she always says yes... until it happens again. Maybe that's why she doesnt want to be my friend.. If that makes her happy then thats what she should do. It's probably better for both of us not to be together. We care so much for each other that we protect each other. My mom tells me "That if you love someone let them go if they come back it was meant to be." I wish Jenna would understand.. I love her so much that I can't leave her. She is my sister. I want to be with her but also my ex. My ex does these things that are mean and he just plays with my heart. So Jenna, tells me to listen to her, but you know its kinda hard for me. I wish she would understand what I go through. I want both of them.

While I was walking in the school I saw that Jenna was talking to Harry, I ran past them and Harry grabbed me to talk to I tried leaving but it didn't work. Harry and I walked and talked and he apologized to me 20 times, and of course his cute smile and cute face I had to take him back. I wish I wasn't so stupid, but he is adorable. I wish he didn't play with my heart. I love him though. He wants me but he is just hormonal and all he wants is my body...which is gross but you know I am old enough now I want to he is amazing and cute and really hot im just worried he will do it again and again.