Family.
One 'place' to be happy. Maybe it is the only one for some people. To have happiness which, created on its own.
Family : consists of people that knows the need of us in theirs and ours life. Full of people who were and will stand for us even in our filthiest self. Including the person we need the most. For instance, the family starts with a parents and there is the eldest followed by her younger brother.
But then, why?
Why?
Why that happiness can disappear miraculously like fine dust in the air and cannot be seen for most of the time just because of a spark of anger?
Why that happiness can easily be forgotten like some unimportant memory as it had never been exist before?
Why the little time we spent meant nothing at the moment and looks like it vanish with time?
Why?
As the smoke of anger flies through the house, the woman called her children 'stupid' as it is their nature and there is nothing can be done as both the younger were born with it. Obviously, she did not learn a chapter about genetic or she forgot about it because as a matter of fact, she is stupid.
The man stay in silence and did not even budge to protect or whatsoever as the woman speaks very good and clear profanity to the youngers.
The son can't be heard. Silence under the self-made wall in his mind. Seems vulnerable but that is all that's left. Quiet mode automatically switched on. Hearing and taking.
The girl, trying to not taste those words as she wore her earphones and listen to any songs, loud songs were preferable as it blocks the shouting. She stare her desk. Took her sticky note as she write there,
"Live to what your parents' expectations," the people said. But she called me stupid, so I'll be one.
I'LL BE STUPID
I'LL BE STUPID
I'LL BE STUPID
I'LL BE STUPID
I'LL BE STUPID
I'LL BE STUPID
I'LL BE STUPID
The girl stopped the music currently playing. "You think that is why I raise you?!" She keep the music going.
What a hurtful words coming from a mouth that speaks full of love just a second ago.
Those are the frequent words that has been thrown to the girl. When it happens, it is better for her to stay and close the cage of her room than facing and listen directly from the woman's mouth which the fiend is speaking at the moment. Trust me, it is better because this girl can't guarantee if she could hold back for not reaching anything, anything pointy or even blunt, anything that can cause pain or just reach the woman's face with her bare hands.
Trust me.
She keeps writing bad things about the family. None happiness because, what is the use of remembering those times if she is the only one who can recall it? It is one way to distract her from the darkness lurking beneath.
The deep one is to kill.
If she done it, she is sure there will be no light of regret anymore. There is nothing to regret for. People die everyday. She, too, asking sometimes, when will the woman's time arrive? Or even the boy's who lived inside the house? Or the man's that cowered away?
She awaited those days eagerly.
Really eager.
Even desperate for it.
At the last note,
I always talk bad about people behind their back. I can't do it to their face because the coward trait live in me and the stupidity of mine won't get me anywhere when arguing for all hearing and taking are all i could've done.
Listing people's wrongdoing and insulting them is a way to entertain myself. A way I found. The only way I have. I like my way. Bad or nice, who cares if it is for me? I'll keep doing what I want. As long as I am content, that's what matters.
Content. Not happy.
Never expect me to change.
No matter what, people around me is the one who need the change to adapt themselves with who I am.
They can't, walked out.
They can, bear with me.
Tired of me, just leave.
The girl thought she absolutely doesn't need anyone as it is a burden to her but, deep down, she knew she still can't let go of those people. For those little happiness.
Maybe one day but not now.
The devil invade her personality. It became worse as each day passed. Those little happiness won't help anymore eventually.
Of course, those three didn't realize because she is a master in hiding. Hiding herself from the people each day, became strangers.
Those notes, she kept and stick it on her desk.
Easy for those three to read.
She intend to.
