all american • javier peña

Chapter 5 [REWRITE]

For the next week, Javi waited for the right moment to talk to Sloane—either she outright avoided him or work things came up. Something was different about her, and he quickly realized he had never seen her scared before their date. Now, every time he spoke to her or approached her fear flashed in her eyes before she snapped back into defense and deflected him.

He sat next to her in their briefing with Carrillo and wanted to hold her hand under the table so badly, but she kept her arms crossed.

"Are there any questions regarding anything we'll be doing tonight?" he asked.

Sloane shook her head. "Round up the spotters and scare some sense into them. Seems pretty straightforward."

"Good to hear you think so," Carrillo said with a slight hint of contempt, clearly still not over his grudge towards the woman.

Once they were released, Javi made it a point to not allow Sloane to outpace him to their desks. "Can we please talk about what happened at dinner?" he practically begged.

She looked at him with a clenched jaw. "I have to get ready for tonight."

"I promise it won't be long, I just want to know where I stand with you, because honestly I'm not so sure anymore."

Sloane felt a pang on sympathy for Javi. Talking about what happened at dinner was the absolute last thing she wanted to do, but she knew he deserved an answer. "Sure. Wanna just go sit in my truck?" He nodded in approval and they started off towards the truck. Dread weighed heavy in her stomach. What was she going to tell him? That she wasn't ready for a relationship? That she secretly really liked him and the thought of being tied to someone emotionally was terrifying?

"How are you?" was the first thing he asked, and even that she didn't know how to answer.

"I'm alright," she fidgeted with a loose thread on her seat. "How about you?"

"Okay, I guess." He bit his lip and paused. "I just wanted you to know that I really like you and I'm not trying to dick you around."

"I know, and I'm sorry about getting all freaked out at dinner. I'm not very good with emotional stuff."

"I understand." He took her hand gingerly. "If you need space just tell me, and if you don't feel anything for me feel free to say so."

Sloane struggled to find an answer, but felt she owed him at least a little honesty. "I'm not gonna say that, but I don't know if I'm in a good place to start a relationship right now, Javi."

"That's a risk I'm willing to accept."

She glanced at their hands and then back up at him. "I probably won't be sticking around long. Once Pablo's dead I'll ship out."

"You have no idea how long that could be. It could be years before that happens."

"Or it could be months, maybe weeks."

"If it's meant to be then we'll figure things out."

"Or it'll get super messy and we'll both get hurt."

"I already told you, it's a risk I'm willing to accept." He leaned in to kiss her but she immediately pulled away.

"I'm sorry, Javi. I can't deal with this right now. I have to go back to my apartment to get some things, so if you could get out I'd appreciate it."