"Drake, PARTYNEXTDOOR escaped from his cage again!" Nicki Minaj yelled at Drizzy.
"Okay, I'll be back, Tyrone. I have something to take care of." the Canadian rapper told Ty Dolla $ign before running off with his drink in hand.
Ty turned to face his girlfriend again. "How's the party so far?" he asked Lauren.
Before she could respond, Nicki walked up to them. "Heyyy bitchessss" the Trinidadian dragged on with her drunk-off-expensive-wine self.
"NICKI HELP I'M LOST!!!" a voice yelled from the distance.
Nicki laughe- wait no, squea- wait no.. WHATEVER THE HELL HER LAUGH SOUNDS LIKE. "I'm coming you little bitchhhhhhh rRRrRRRrRrrRR!" she screamed before walking her colossal thicc ass to the other side of the room.
Lauren laughed nervously. "Well that was weird. And the party's fun, babe." the singer took another sip of her cocktail.
Nicki came back, dragging nobody else but Camila Cabello by the Ferragamo belt she tried to steal from Nicki's massive ass closet.
Lauren looked at what she assumed was a piece of trash Nicki was dragging and gasped. "NICKI, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME SHE WAS COMING!"
Nicki laughed again. "Usher didn't tell that bitch he had herpes either, welcome to the real world sis."
Camila looked up from the expensive floor and up at Lauren and Ty. She stayed silent for a second. Nicki dropped her flat on her stomach, so she got up to stand.
"Is everything here alright?" Matthew returned, accompanied by Drake. He looked in front of him and his eyes caught onto the most beautiful thing ever.
Green eyes.
Long hair.
The cutest smile.
A wonderful nose.
Clear skin.
"T-Ty Dolla $ign?!" he exclaimed.
Lauren scoffed. This little bitch really left me for a Brit twink?
Ty gasped. "Matthew Hussey?!" he walked over to the relationship coach and gave him a hug.
"Ummm.. Okay then.." Nicki blurted out and drank some more of Cardi's tear- I mean, expensive wine.
"I love your work so much!" Ty leaned in to Matthew's ear. "I mean, how do you think I cuffed Lauren?" he whispered before pulling away and laughing.
Matthew looked at Ty and couldn't help but grin. "I listened to your album, such a BANGER!" he said excitedly and smiled with them pearly whites. Ain't got nothing on Ty's iced out teeth though.
Camila and Lauren were just there, staring at each other. Nicki already had her iPhone X whipped out.
"Well? THROW SOME FUCKING HANDS ALREADY!" The rap queen yelled.
The Cubans looked at Nicki and gasped, but still didn't talk to each other.
By the time the girls were ready to go back to their boyfriends, they were gone.
• • •
For the past hour, Matthew and Ty sat in Nicki's weed garden, talking on and on about how they appreciated eachother's work.
Ty rolled his seventh blunt and passed it to Matthew.
"Come on, it'll feel good. Just take it in all the way he persuaded the Brit, but he was still nervous.
"B-but won't it burn?" Matthew stuttered.
Ty laughed. "Okay here's what. Just close your eyes."
Matthew raised an eyebrow. Ty gave him a look, so he finally complied.
Ty took a drag and put his mouth to Camila's boyfriend's lips and blew some smoke.
Matthew began choking and coughing. It was too much for him. He gasped.
Ty raised both his hands. "No homo man."
After, Lauren stumbled in, dragging Camila behind her. "Are you kidding me? Really?"
"I HAVE FOUR MORE WEED GARDENS GET YO ASSES OUT FROM THERE BITCH!" Nicki's voice yelled from outside.
Lauren tripped backwards and pulled the metal door shut behind her.
More than a half hour later, Matthew was taking more drags than Fifth Harmony's career.
"Pornstars are like false Gods that manipulate us into sacrificing our unborn seeds to them.." Matthew said, blinking his bloodshot eyes.
Ty had to process that. "Yo what the fuck?"
"Fellas, is it gay to be gay? Gay is happy and happy means positive and two positives make a negative, which means being gay isn't gay, right?" Matthew slurred out half of that.
Ty widened his eyes. "So that means we can be gay and still be straight?"
Matthew nodded. "Basically."
Ty started laughing. "Lmao let's do it."
Matthew shrugged. "Aight."
+++
A/N: Lmao I regret this already, go vote or something.
