The Space Around Mars

I don't know why I am writing this because soon, it won't be here anymore because I have made a rather chilling promise to myself. This note book that lies on my lap is actually making my legs sting incredibly bad. But, I just have to muddle through it because when I'm done, maybe I'll be able to reach the sky and just fly away. I take a look in the mirror and I can't see what everyone else sees. I see the words of my parents.

Pathetic,

Useless,

And, overly dramatic

...keep everything inside to make sure that I abide by their rules. I make sure that I don't speak my opinion, that I don't show my true emotions to anyone, and I make DAMN sure that I don't trust anyone. That is a mistake I have made too many times.

My name is Marrie, but most people call me Mars. I don't really know where that nickname came from because it has no fond memory behind it, no. Not laughter, not joy. The things that I lack, the memory has probably escaped my brain. Who knows really?

I guess I should tell you (this notebook) why my legs sting so bad whenever anyone touches them or something is set on top of them. To be plain, I cut myself. Nope. Not for attention, not to be called the girl who cuts or "Emo kid." No one but me knows about the abundance of slices on my upper legs.

The reason why no one knows is because I am alone. I don't have any close friends. I chose not to get close to anyone. That does have a memory behind it. A painful one full of betrayal and tears but, the story behind that is for another page, and probably another day. I happen to be writing on a sidewalk. Sitting crisscross here waiting for the bus. I see other teen's coming my way, and now I have to close you for now.

Adieu ~ Mars

Marrie got up and brushed off her pants. She let out a small sigh as the voices of the others carry over her ear-buds. The others often travel in packs as Marrie had labeled, they were much like animals to her in some ways. Getting wrapped up in all of the high school drama was never her interest. She didn't care who was dating who or who was having sex with whom. She just wanted to keep to herself, and be hidden. Most of the time she accomplished her goal except for her teachers, and the occasional person that had the courage to approach her. It wasn't that she was intimidating; it was more like she was so quiet people mistook her as being hot tempered.

That was over an incident that happened in her elementary years when kids would bully her, one day she had enough and beat the snot out of the main one, and since then most people have chosen to stay out of her path.

She stared blankly at the road, waiting for the big off yellow behemoth to pick them up. Right as the bus had turned their corner she noticed people were staring off towards her left watching a poor kid book it for the bus. His name was Lucas, who hadn't rode the bus in years according to a loud squeaky girl next to who her thought he was "hot." Marrie scoffed at him.

He's not really attractive. The only thing he has going for him is his hair if anyone is lucky enough to look past his awful personality. She hid a wry smile at her sarcastic comment and proceeded to get on the bus.

"Good morning Mars." Ms. Dianne greeted her.

"Mornin' Miss Dianne!"Marrie smile gleamed, and took her normal seat on the bus, fourth from the front of bus. She didn't really see a point in riding in the back of the bus. She figured most kids who did felt a certain sense of "cool" because they thought the bus driver couldn't hear the snide comments that they make towards her and any other unlucky victims. But, to their "surprise" most of the time Ms. Dianne can hear them and the normal battle of the bus ride began without a hitch.