Miss Right

It's already past midnight and I'm still up having trouble finishing this song that's due the day after tomorrow. However, that wasn't the only thing keeping me awake.

Earlier today, we got scolded by the dance instructor for messing up the choreography multiple times. Especially me.

Three days ago, a furious Hitman Bang upbraided Jimin and Taehyung and I in a pep talk, the cause being the 95liners. They came home drunk, not to mention it was way past their curfew.

Everybody was having a hard time. Both physically and mentally exhausted, carrying the heaviest of responsibilities, this leader is on the verge of exploding.

********

Ten minutes ago, Jin-hyung went out to the living room where I was- bringing a glass of refreshment with him.

He offered it to me with an apologetic but encouraging look on his face and then said,

"Here, drink this. Don't take it all on yourself Namjoon-ah. If you want to talk, we can talk. But as I see it, you'd rather be alone for now so I'm going to leave you be. You've done well," planting an encouraging pat on my shoulder.

"Thanks, Hyung," I said, managing a little smile.

But it was impossible not to take it all on myself. Thoughts keep filling inside of my head, I can't think properly. I have never felt so hopeless.

I planted both my hands on the table in front of me for support but before I could get up, my phone rang.

"Hello?" I picked up.

"Hey. Namjoon," Hanna said with that sweet voice of hers. "I'm at the skate park... Wanna hang?" she continued.

"Yeah, I'll meet you there."

"Okay. Same spot," and she hung up.

I grabbed my sweatshirt, put on some shoes and went for my bike. It was cold outside. Refreshing, I thought, although not quite. It was not enough to wipe away all my problems and the exhausted look on my face. But it was nice.

I arrived at the skate park, aimed for the edge of the bleachers and sat there right beside the old tree. I looked left and right searching for that familiar face. Where is she? I thought. She said 'same spot'.

"Heya, dimples," Hanna greeted from behind with a teasing smirk. She took a glance at my direction and she could immediately tell.

"Things are getting tough, huh? Whatever it is, it's not the worst," she said looking straight ahead watching a group of skaters show some tricks.

I glanced at her and can't help but notice the gentle smile that curled from her lips, her eyes that were filled with wonder. She always looked like this.

Hanna is the leader of their group, too. But I never saw her having a hard time. Well... not until now that I'm looking at her so closely. The way her shoulders seem to be a bit slumped than before. Tired but beautiful, still.

"You're having a hard time, too," I finally said. "How do you deal with it?"

She responded, "I don't know. I guess... when it gets tough, you should show you're tougher." She smiled at me. Her eyes were a little teary but she was smiling. I looked away flustered, realising I've been staring long enough- afraid that my stare would creep her out and said, "I guess so, too."

She kept talking, "But you know, people have limitations. Right? One last blow and we just collapse."

Then she stared right into my eyes with those wonder-filled eyes. "You can talk to me."

And so I did. I told her everything. Even the things I could not tell the members because I have to act tough for them. I told Hanna everything and she listened. Before I knew it, my body was slumped on my thighs, arms covering my dampen face- I was sobbing. Ugly emotional sobbing. Unexpectedly, she held one of my hands ever so gently and lifted my face and then she kissed me.

Her soft lips touching mine.

They kept getting warmer by the second. Her breath was warm while mine was cold. A convergence of feelings enough to create a storm.

My eyes stayed closed so that I could cherish this feeling. One moment, I was in total disorientation but just one touch of hers, I am brought back to my senses.

"Oppa," she whispered, letting go after a long time.

"It's been a long while since I've called you that, right?"

I nodded, reaching still for air. She was right.

Before she spoke again, she let out a soft laugh "Oppa, you can trust in me. You know that, right?"

She was right again. "I know..." I said, scooping her right into my arms, a huge smile plastered on my swollen face.

She hugged back, letting me feel the powerful lub-dub inside of her chest.