The beginning

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I felt the dull, scratching pain etch in my skin again. Another thought. I looked back up to the front of class as the waterfall of tears hid in my eyes, I didn't want to show everyone that I was in pain, I didn't want them to see the essays of compliments on my body because I don't deserve them. My best friend stares at me from across the room knowing that I'm not okay but wanting to know why. He offers me a weak smile as I see the word "Queer" engrave into his arm, he tries to hide it with the doodles but everyone can still tell what it says.

I scan the classroom and observe everyone as I notice the popular girls at the back, one catches my eye, Ella the four-time homecoming queen; the words "Pretty" and "Beautiful" dot her skin, some faded, some more noticeable. Her friends all think she's weird because of her love for science but all she wishes for is one "Smart" in replace for all of the "Beautiful"s and "Pretty"s that she has gotten over the years.

My head snapped back to the front as I felt the burning pain again but this time on my leg, I looked down and below the bottom of my skirt the words "Ugly" and "Fat" appeared, my eyes started to sting again and the tears that I forbid to fall, disobeyed me and soon my tears were streaming down my face and making stains on my shirt. Why was I crying? I deserved this I didn't deserve the compliments so why don't I deserve the insults? I wiped my tears away as the door flew open. There he was, Kieron Lewis, standing in the doorway. His smile was so hypnotising you could believe that it was real unless you looked behind it and saw his dull, sleepless eyes. He came and took his place next to me muttering his apologies to the teacher and got his books out of his bag.

I looked down to start my work as I noticed "Just kill yourself already" carved into his hand along with the dozens of cuts and scars intertwined with the sentence. I looked up at him and he gave me a weak smile and carried on with his work. The words, the cuts, the dull, sleepless eyes make me want to stand up and scream at anyone who has ever bullied him or hurt him in any way shape or form but I know I can't. I can't help him with anything that is already on him. But maybe if I just think, I can help.

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 12, 2018 ⏰

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