Sneaky

Chapter 56

Everyone relaxed in exhaustion, now that it was finally over.

Rick scrubbed a hand down his tired face, before turning to look at the others; standing from his crouched position to wander back towards his family.

"What the Hell were you thinking!?" Glenn fired off, startling me.

"That, was stupidly dangerous." Dale chimed in.

I agree it was a stupid move— but... I can't be sorry for it. I wasn't gonna let Glenn get bit, even if it had been my bare arm.

That's not a risk I will ever be willing to take.

I gave an apologetic look. I'm not proud of scaring them.

I got lucky, and you've only got so much of that.

I should have used my blade. I should've put the blade in it's mouth, not my arm. It was careless and idiotic, I know.

I should have thought it through. My dying doesn't help anyone; It's selfish to think otherwise. Just because I'd rather it be me, doesn't mean it should be any of us.

However I'd rather not get rung out further, if I can at all avoid it.

Clasping his outstretched hand, Glenn helped me to my feet. I gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze; hoping it put his concern to rest, though I know it's not likely to.

Hershel's family started to leave, and I gave Glenn a little push. Until he was trailing after them.

I know he wants to be there for Maggie— he should. I don't know her well and I'm not gonna claim to, but I recon, right about now she could use someone.

Shane went after them, no doubt to start something, like he always has to; Rick going after him.

I moved to follow but stopped, glancing at the others; who all look at a loss with themselves.

This is where I'm needed. Rick will have to handle Shane on his own.

I drew in a deep breath, straightening myself up and walked back to Carl and Lori.

"I thought I'd find her" Carl's solemn voice reached my ears as I came to a stop just in front of them.

"We all did" Lori looked at her hands in her lap, picking at the edges of her fingernails.

"I mean me. That I'd be the one."

Both mine and Lori's eyes drew to him.

"Maybe she was hiding somewhere. In a cave or in a tree. She'd be safe, and I'd find her and bring her back."

He wanted to be the hero; just like his dad.

"He did the right thing. Shooting her like that." He looked down at his hands clasped together around his knees where they rested in front of him.

I stared at Carl, mouth parting. A part of me mourned the loss of his childhood; there are too many amongst us who've had those days stolen from us.

I had hoped Carl would have at least a little more time to be a kid. I should have known better. This is what being a kid gets you.

It's not as if I know what childhood should be like, anyhow.

One thing I do know though. Carl is too young to have to carry the burden of understanding a mercy killing.

"I'd have done it too"

My eyes widened, at Carl.

I looked at Lori, and she stared back; my expression mirrored in her own.