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PART THIRTEEN ❦
"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE MAD AT ME."
Malaena ignored the rough voice, keeping her eyes trained on the direwolf at her feet. Lady sat contently in between her and Sansa, letting the Greyjoy girl pet her.
Honestly, it had surprised her Jon had come to talk to her at all. She figured he wouldn't have the courage to do so, and their relationship, whatever it was, would just dwindle into a fond memory. She was even more surprised he would do such a thing in front of Sansa. Not that Malaena had given him much choice, she hadn't strayed from the younger girl's side since the sun rose.
"I know you can hear me and I know you're actually listening intently to my every word," Jon sighed. "So, please, leave the charade and talk to me."
"Lovers spat?" The eldest Baratheon joined the three, where Sansa and Malaena sat under the shade of a large tree.
"No." Malaena said quickly, "Just chatting, how are you today, Prince Joffrey?"
Malaena was swift to learn that Joffrey was a pompous asshole. Sansa, however, was less intuitive to the boy's attitude. Instead, she had become infatuated with him and Malaena had to bite her tongue around him, wanting to be supportive of her young friend. Sansa had done it for her, letting her go on about Jon, who Sansa hardly enjoyed.
"Wonderful, my lady," his eyes ran over Jon mockingly. "What's the bastard doing here?"
Sansa gave Malaena a pleading look, tipping her head ever so slightly in Jon's direction. She wanted him gone.
"Actually," Malaena smiled politely. "Jon and I were just leaving."
She hooked her arm around Jon's and led him away from the clearing, further into the woods. She didn't want to talk but she did want Sansa to be happy. It was a sacrifice.
"I'd be more inclined to talk if you brought your own wolf," Malaena attempted to make conversation. "I'm sad there were limited numbers. I'd quite enjoy the companionship."
Jon let out a shaky laugh. "I can go get him, if you want."
Jon went to retrieve Ghost and Malaena sat by the lake, next to the overhanging weirwood tree. He returned with a small, albino wolf cradled under his arm.
As a reflex, her lips curled and she cooed at the furry animal. She knew how dangerous they could be but Ghost seemed to take to her, settling his tiny head in her lap.
Jon sat next to her, scruffing him up. Ghost closed his eyes, leaning into Jon's palm. "He'll be huge soon."
"You're just a baby, aren't you?" She said soothingly to the pup, he let out a low, pleaser noise as she scratched under his chin.
"Mae—" Jon started, pausing to suck in a breath. "I should've told you about the Night's Watch. I understand that. But you can't be mad, you're getting married to another man."
"Against my will," she said begrudgingly. "Sprung on me by my father. You decided to take the black long before that letter arrived."
"I decided to take the black when I was twelve," Jon told Malaena, his thick brows pulled together. "It made sense—I'm an illegitimate child, Robb inherits it all. I'm the last in line. What else would I even do? Nothing as noble."
A tinge of pity welled her in heart but she still felt betrayed. "You should've told me. Before now."
"I know." He agreed. "I just didn't know how—I'll admit, I was selfish. I didn't want to lose you before I had to."
"That's not fair," Malaena looked at him, her eyes wet with emotion. "I never prepared for an end, I was looking into the future and now I find out there wasn't ever one to begin with."
"I'm sorry," he apologized, his dark eyes drooping, filled with the upmost sincerity. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I made a mistake."
She knew he never meant to hurt her, she wasn't even sure he had a malicious bone in his body. However, that didn't stop the aching feeling deep in her chest—still, she would forgive him, as he had been half right himself. The end to their affair was inevitable, she'd soon be Malaena Paege and he'd be stripped of all titles, a brother of the Night's Watch.
It was better to let go than to hold a grudge. They only had a selected amount of time left, it would be more pleasant to make the most of it.
Instead of saying anything, she leaned over and kissed him lightly, pulling back soon after. The feeling lingered on her lips and she thought about how much she was going to miss the familiar giddy feeling that arose each time they kissed.
"You're beautiful," his voice was breathy, an octave above a whisper.
"Don't say things like that," she frowned, leaning away from him. Her eyes were downcast on the ground, where Ghost had fallen asleep. "It means nothing."
"It does." He replied, the corners of his mouth falling. He reached for her hand, placing his much larger one over her own. "Because I mean it."
She forced back any sign of the smile that was fighting to take over her somber expression. "You're beautiful, too, Jon. I wish you'd see it—maybe then we wouldn't be in this position."
His cheeks were tinted a soft pink. "How do you figure?"
"If you saw your worth, you wouldn't waste it at the Wall," she said softly, hating the thought of him, frigid with the cold, standing on the edge of danger. "Maybe you'd stay around then. Maybe we could be something greater than we are now."
Jon lifted a coy brow, trying to play off her words. "And Aeron Paege?"
Malaena shrugged. "He means absolutely nothing to me. Say the word, I'd marry you, Jon. I would."
"I can't," he shook his head. "It's a pretty daydream, Mae. But it could never happen."
She nodded but she was in silent disagreement. Malaena just didn't want to argue anymore.
"Let's head back to the castle," she told him, gently pushing Ghost from her lap and standing up. "It's getting dark."
They held hands through the woods, Ghost trailing them closely. As they light from Winterfell's lanterns approached, their hands fell to their rightful sides.
