0 - Dawn Of Silver

7 - Red Mist Of Anger

34th day of the hammer season 2445

Twelve years since her birth, since her adoption. Soon she was going to be a woman. Her wolf cub status would fade to transform her into something bigger, stronger, but also miserable. She was so very completely lost.

Within four years, since the evening when she had consulted the moon for help, every season of the river, she sang her melody and each time she became more and more desperate. Certainly, she was grateful for some aspects in her life such as her unshakeable friendship with Fayne, the blind loyalty of Grendrel and the iron dedication of Argent. It was not enough. It was too much to have so many people against her. She almost never had a break and she often had to struggle to get some. She was exhausted.

"Why can I not just be me?" she had screamed as she slammed the table at yesterday's dinner.

"Because you're simply a Kindirah," Bayrne replied in a cold, firm voice. "Be a little grateful that you bear this name."

The ruling lord took a bite of his pork chop and displayed a neutral expression, as if the crisis of his daughter mattered little. Honestly, he must have been used to it since it was far from being the first one and Azena could guess it. Despite everything, she was deeply insulted. At that moment, she did not really care about her family name. What she wanted was respect.

It took only a small "ppfff" from Serus to set her off into a blind rage. Her forehead wrinkled and her face deformed by anger, she jumped onto the table, paying little attention to the food and gave her older brother a good kick on the face.

Gendrel and Ravon laughed loudly. They and their bad-tempered sister were held responsible for cleaning the excrement of the animals of the estate by hand and without help.

"You've had even more guts nowadays," said Gendrel with a mischievous smile on his lips. "This horrid punishment is well worth it."

Azena did not answer; she contented herself with finishing the task in silence, disgusted.

Every day she struggled against the demanding expectations of her family trying to make her into a Lady of nobility, the insults and sometimes even the physical aggression of her parents' subjects who were supposed to owe her some respect and finally, her desire to flee, which continued to grow. She was afraid of what laid beyond Nothar's protective walls, but last night she had made her decision. She had packed up and once at the gate of the city, she felt anxious. She had turned back, her tail between her legs.

Maybe next time was going to be the right one. Maybe at last something was going to dominate her fear. It did not matter, whether it was rage, impulsiveness, sheer nonsense or even madness. She had to change the course of her life.

She had not mentioned her escape attempt to anyone. Anyway, they would only reprimand her and she did not have the energy for that. What would help was a little sedative, a little push, a well-deserved respite.

At the Litfows' tavern she had set herself on a new mission: get a hold of some alcohol. The adults often drank it and they seemed, for the most part, happy under the effect. The problem was that she had no money nor the legal age to consume. She hated the idea of stealing in her friend's tavern, but her psychological pain compelled her to act despite that.

That evening, Fayne was the waitress and replaced her mother who had a cold. She was surprised to see Azena since she knew she was not available to hang out with her.

"Is everything fine?" she asked as she found a brief opening to consult her friend.

She stared at her anxiously, an empty tray in her hand. She had grown a lot since they met. After all, next year she would officially become a fifteen-year-old woman. It did not seem to bother her; she liked the idea of becoming the wife of a handsome man. The commoners had more flexibility than the nobles on that. On the other hand, she wanted to be an herbalist and not just a housewife. Soon, she was to begin her training at Bluefloret, a guild recognized for their beauty products, hair care and others. They were all made from plants which appealed a lot to the brunette. She constantly had her nose stuffed in books that Azena sneaked out for her. She was studious, disciplined and intelligent, unlike her younger friend.