I built a friend

I built a friend by Alec Benjamin, that was our song. Just us the two of us against the rest of the world. Since the age of 5 he was there, always. He was a part of me.  However, all good things must end but not like that. He's gone. I could've stop him. I abandoned him. I left him all alone.

Michael Armstrong and Jonathon Reynolds.  The two orphan boys who refused to separate. Until the academy . I had to take it. It was right.... right?

I remember the first month; we never stopped texting ,but then I met Jake. Every night I thought about his, "parting gift to me," my first kiss, Michael was my first friend but he was also so much more but I was too young to see. He was alway there. I struggled to think what life could be like with out my best friend.

After first year I went back for Christmas, of course I went to his place but what I found broke me forever.

Laying by the tree with a gift, a note and the empty bottle of pills. Micah my first friend, my first kiss, my first love. Dead.

I wanted to die then.... a part of me already was.

Memories are precious; alway remember, try to remember him not dead.Him breathing, alive and so so happy because I'm never gonna so that smile again, feel that kiss. So I'll have to remember his hugs.

I remember when he and I share a bed for the night because he refused to let me go.
He was being bullied and I saw. The bully threw him to the ground and I saw his face, hurt and scared. I can't fully remember myself, I was too angry but apparently I broke the guys arm beating him for hurting "my Micah" as I said at the time. I think that's when I fell for him, I just didn't know back then. The whole night he clung to me but I didn't complain, I loved it.

There was one time where I was jealous over him, I thought it was platonic but I know better now. When we were 9, Micah was talking to so girl named Lin, so I held his hand during dinner right in front of her. I laughed with Micah about it for years. I miss his laugh.

One time for his birthday, he and I went to the fair and we went on one of those octopus rides and I was scared but refused to admit it. Although Micah knew; he always knew. He held my hand and pulled me closer kissing my forehead, I'm that moment I just knew that everything would be fine. I haven't felt that since....

I wonder if Michael always knew about our love, even if I didn't. I wonder if he knew I loved him before I did.

A/N
I know this ain't great but boy I tried.
That's a lie I apologise you were told I'm shit and you still came here.
~lee