Yoongi x reader|| Feelings Fade.

Part 2: I'm sick of It.

I just can't.
No one understands me.
Not even him.
I just wish I had someone, someone to hold me tight at times like these.

But no. I'm all alone. Cutting. Crying. Suffering. No one is there for me. I have no one. It's so hard to face reality. But i'm the only person that faces the truth. Everyone else are basically a bunch of plastic dolls. Fake.

(Actual story stuff other than feelings and thoughts. )

I have no job so i've been sittinh here all day. And by here I mean the couch. The T.V wasn't on. I was just staring at the wall while silent tears role down my rosy, red cheeks.

I heard the door unlocking. I still didn't look at the door to see who. I just looked down shaking my head as more tears fall.

I see two shadows hovering over me. One girl, one boy. "Hey ima need you to leave. I have uh, some business to attend to." He smirked at the girl when he said business. I rolled my eyes. I stood up wiping my tears and said "wash the bed sheets when you're done, you dirty man." Before slamming the door shut. I was mad. All the I love you's and then he brings a girl home.

My eyes widened in delight when i started thinking.  This is the perfect time for me to kill myself! Yay.  I smile. I know it's weird to smile when you're planning to kill yourself, but if you were me, you would understand completely.

I started planning where and when I should do it.

Jump off a roof, nah. Stab myself. Nope. Drown...maybe..poison. hell no. Hang myself...ouu yeah I like that. I got out a notebook and pen. I never left the outside of the apartment. It's gross. I hear moans and groans. Mainly I hear "OH DADDY~ DEEPER, FASTER!!~"  I scrunch my nose up in disgust.

I sadly am not leaving the porch of this apartment cause I mean, I don't like getting criticized by strangers that don't even know me.

A wet drop fell on my notebook. And another. And another. I look up. It's not raining. I touch my cheek. I'm crying. But why am I?

I start writing on my notebook.

Dear, Min Yoongi.

     Thank you. But. I hate you. I hate you so much that I love you. It kills me inside. I know you only say "I love you" out of pity. I know you only care for me because you pity me. I know. I know it all. I'm just gonna end it. You make me suffer. Suffer so much more. The pain you cause me is so much worse than all the people that bully me. I don't get you. But sadly, even just your smile makes me feel special. Just hearing your voice makes me feel wanted. Even though I know, i'm not. So thank you. Be careful.  You might see my lifeless body behind our cherry blossom tree. I love you. I hate you.
                             Goodbye.
             
                                            Sincerely,
                                                          Y/n.