when that winter came ▶▶ kaisoo™

Tuberculosis

Jongin 

It has been a few days ever since me and Kyungsoo found out about his disease, and now the symptoms are already showing. Every single day, he would cough out blood, and his fair complexion turns pale. From his cherry red lips are now pale pink, he looks pale. I remembered that he even described himself as a living corpse because of his looks.

I don't know why he is fighting for me, even though he shouldn't. This is too much for him, but whenever I tell him that, he would just shrug it off. He even goes outside even though it's bad for him...there's too much snow, he shouldn't breathe it in or it will be even worse.

Kyungsoo, even though he's sick and dying, is still the carefree person I met that night at the park. Who just pulled me along with him in running the dark pavement and made me realize in one night what freedom is. For my whole life, I was always in my comfort zone, not doing risky things.

But because of Kyungsoo, I changed. 

"Jongin-ah..." I realized that I have been standing for too long. Maybe I have been spacing out today, just maybe. I looked at Kyungsoo who was standing next to me, a napkin covering his mouth and nose. Yes, I researched that tuberculosis is very contagious, which is why Kyungsoo has been distancing himself from me.

He sounds so weak, but I still manage to smile at him. "Do you need something?" I ask but he just shakes his head, and then he holds my hand. From what I can feel, his hands are very shaky, and it's cold. Even though we're inside his apartment, the heater is not even helping.

Kyungsoo is really shivering.

And the next thing that I saw was that Kyungsoo collapsed.

***

Panic was running through my veins as I sit down on one of the chairs near Kyungsoo's hospital room. From what I can tell, the doctor said that he will be fine, and there's nothing to worry about. I don't easily believe in a doctor's words, they always leave people hoping for their loved one to survive. I run my fingers through my hair and tap my foot on the cold ground as I waited for the nurses to go out of the room.

But Kyungsoo's doctor sat next to me, and gave me a sympathetic smile. I just looked at him blankly and he sighs. "I saw it...Kyungsoo's in stage four and there's no treatment left for him to survive. Every treatment that he used in the past will not work on him anymore, some of the parts of his body are shutting down." And that was all it took for me to let out a panicked breath and look at the doctor in horror.

All he did was pat me on the shoulder and said, "You don't know how Kyungsoo is grateful for meeting someone like you." I felt my heart melting and shattering at the same time and I couldn't breathe properly. I felt like I'm gonna explode out of panic and fear and sadness.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do if he's gone." Tears fall out of my eyes as I said it quietly, then I sobbed silently with my hands covering my face. Too much of this was all it took to make me look so fragile, but the most fragile one right now is Kyungsoo. "He can no longer fight the disease, it's already killing him slowly." The doctor said while squeezing my shoulder to calm me down.

But how can I calm down if he is dying?

I removed my hands from my face and looked at the doctor. "What can I do now? I feel so useless for Kyungsoo." I say and he smiles.

"Be there with him on his last days...until he dies." That was what the doctor said and I nodded.

Be with him until he dies....

***

I enter the hospital room and all I ever smelled was like alcohol, something I could not even describe myself. I looked at Kyungsoo who was smiling at me, the dextrose in his right hand and his complexion looked pale. Yes, he is dying.

Dying but still so beautiful.

Kyungsoo looked like the life was taken out of him, but I didn't care at all. I sat on the edge of the bed and caressed his cheek with my hand, and I still felt warmth. "Jongin, I'm dying." He said, his voice was a bit raspy, and it's like he had a hard time to speak. I just nodded and sighed.

"Just because you're dying...doesn't mean I'll let you leave this world as a lonely soul." I said, then tears fall out of my eyes. "That moment I saw you in the park, I knew that you are my only soulmate and I know that if we ended up together, it's gonna be a long ride." I continued, then I chuckled. "What's so fascinating is that I ended up falling for you so quickly that I don't even know where we started. It's like it happened too fast.

"Kyungsoo, if you will watch me from above after your death, I promise you I will never fall for anyone." I sobbed, wiping the tears off my cheeks. "Because ever since that night in the park, I already gave my heart to you fully, and I know that I'm not regretting it." I laughed, and I concluded, "Do Kyungsoo, you're the best thing that's gonna be taken away from me so quickly."

Tears started to fall out of his eyes and he smiled. "Thank you for letting me love you, Kim Jongin."

And we both shared a kiss, one that was full of love and some emotions that I cannot even remember.

***

GOOD THING I UPDATED! HAHA ^^

You already know what's gonna happen here, yes...but there's a huge twist to the ending though. :D

Since I'm a grade 7 student and goddamn it, it's so stressful, I am always a LATE UPDATER from now on. Don't expect me to have fast updates, because I am a student and I highly value my studies well.

A lot of issues around EXO are coming true. EXO's just 11 now, but I always tell myself to add Kris in my fanfics because he's an EXO member. AND FOREVER WILL BE.

WE A12E 1NE. EXO12.

Are you guys happy for Kris? I hope you are, he's an actor now, and he is so... *^* OKAY OKAY, let me end my author's note here, kkaebsong~

P.S. Sorry in advance if I will make you guys cry.

P.P.S. Dedicated to Baekdine unnie ^^

P.P.P.S. NOT ABOUT ANGELS BY BIRDY FITS THIS CHAPTER. TRY TO LISTEN TO IT ;) AND MAY KAISOO FILL YOUR LUNGS