All The Better

Chapter 9

Its been a week since I saw Marcus in our apartment and I still can’t forget how much he looks like my father.

I can’t forget how much I miss my father, and mother.

I wish I could get rid of all of that. Put it in a box labeled “My Parents Death: Thoughts & Emotions” and then tape it. Tape it up and put it in the corner of my mind and never ever open it again. I can imagine it now.

I wish that I could leave this stupid faction and not be factionless.

I wish I wasn’t crying at my computer with Seth on the other side of the room, too engulfed in work to notice me.

I wish I was with my dad. Even though he hated me I still wish I was with him, in his arms, feeling safe.

I shot up from my desk. I can’t being crying here. I can’t being crying anywhere. I can’t cry.

I walked out and walked to my apartment quickly, holding in the salty tears. keeping my head down.

I wish I could stop feeling at all. Pain is like an annoying song. Its catchy and always suck in your head when you don’t want it.

 

I walk into the apartment and walk into the bathroom.

Turning on the shower, and stripping, I look into the mirror.

My naked and fogged body shows back, small still. I definitely didn’t get the dads genes in the boob department.  

I hop into the shower letting the hot water sting until I’m sure my skin is burning.

I sit with my back to the water, letting the drops pelt my back with the acidic burn.

I watched the condensation on the tiled bathroom walls slide down as I thought about my parents.

By the time Seth found me in the bathroom, the water had run cold and I was numb. Numb and shivering.

He had to pull me out, turn off the water, then wrap me in a multiple of towels, and carry me to the bedroom where he held me till I stopped shivering and had feeling in my fingers and toes again.

He was sweet like that.

I hadn’t noticed he put his nose piercing in till just now.

I straddled him and cupped his face with my cold hands.

“When did you put your piercing back in?” I asked confused.

“I just… I don’t know. Why? Do you not like it?”

“I like it. I just… thought you didn’t like it anymore. Ya know, stupid teenage decision thing.”

He chuckled softly and kisses my nose,”No I just took it out because I thought I looked too scary to you.”

“To me?”

He nods.

“Dude, I thought you were the hottest shit back then.”

He puts up a face on mock hurt, “And I don’t look like the hottest shit now!?”

I threw my head back and laughed. “I never said that!”

“Good. I was about to give you a shit storm.”

I smiled and kissed him sweetly then got off his lap, changing into clean clothing.

When I turned back around to him he was laying on the bed, arms folded behind his head and looking at me.

“What?” I asked.

“I just can’t get over the fact that this pretty lady in front of me is mine. All mine.”

I blushed and crawled into bed with him. “I’m not that pretty.”

He wrapped his arms around me, “You’re right.” He said simply.

“What?”

“You’re right. You aren’t pretty. You’re stunning. Gorgeous. Alluring. Beautiful. Pulchritudinous… You’re you. And you, are perfect.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing.

He smiled and nuzzled his head into my neck.