No, I don't want it to fade // Karmagisa

Love, what is it?

Nagisa's POV (A.N. the whole story is told in his POV, just in case you were wondering.)

I've never been properly introduced to love at an early age. My mother was always nagging me to be the daughter she's always wanted, and that honestly made me even more confused about myself. "Straighten your poise! No slouching! Act like a lady!" And if I even refused to her commands, that already counted for no supper for 5 days. I guess that's why my height got drastically affected. My mother and father got divorced and I was forced to stay with my mom while my dad was off doing other things on his own. He was the only one that understands me at the time, but he was also afraid of my mother. Before, he'd always stand up for me when I was being physically hurt by my mom, and those were the only times where I understood what love really was, but mom probably convinced him otherwise by saying "Didn't you want a daughter yourself? I'm trying to help him become better for us. Now try and understand that." Father would just stay silent and look at me with a sorry look. I've seen that look a million times. It's pity, not saying sorry.

But either way, I still love them both. Or, if you could even call it love. I guess 'tolerate' would be more appropriate. I mean, without them I wouldn't even be here.

Though here I am, snapping back to reality, back to more of the crazy bullshit in society. I walk up the hill to where class 3-E is and catch up to my classmate, Kayano Kaede. She was the one that put my hair up to pigtails just like hers, so that it'll be a bit easier to distinguish me from a girl. "Ah! Nagisa-kun. You're quite early today." "Well, yeah, I couldn't really sleep well last night, so I woke up a few minutes earlier." "Couldn't eat supper again?" I nod. "We can share lunch later, I'm pretty sure your mom didn't pack you anything that'll last you more than an hour." She's right. I only have a sandwich, am I that easily readable? "And yeah, Nagisa, you're really easy to read." She says while walking off chuckling. Agh, she did it again.

Besides all that, the Valentines Event is coming up soon, and I have absolutely no clue who I should pair up with for the games. Kayano's already with Kanzaki, so I'm running out of ideas.

I need more friends.

Unless, no- I can't do that. I'll never have the guts to do that. It'll be too awkward.
They won't understand.

(A.N. The first few chapters are a bit short with at least 400 words, but believe me when I say that they'll get longer when the story gets more interesting; around 800+ words so wish me luck)