Lego Batman Fanfiction - One Shot - Lobster Thermidor

Lobster Thermidor

"Computer, we're home!" Three figures drop out of the Bat Zeppelin (this mission was definitely an adventure) and start off down the walkways in the Bat Cave.

"Sir, Alfred just finished your lobster thermidor in the second floor kitchen." 'Puter's voice echoes off the Bat Cave walls.

"Lobster thermidor? Oh that's my favorite." Batman kicks off his black stealth suit legs and slips into his red robe. Stalking to the elevator, he steps in first--he always steps in first.

"Lobster thermidor, again, Batman?" Barbara sounds unimpressed. She pauses just outside the elevator, folds her arms across her chest, and throws Batman a look.

"He eats if for every meal!" Dick interjects, weaving around Barbara and sidling up to Batman in the already crowded elevator.

"Kid! Stop spilling my secrets!" Batman gives Dick a mask-aided glare.

Dick chuckles, mumbling what could have been something like, "Sorry, Padre."

Barbara sighs, shakes her head, and squeezes into the elevator. The door closes them in and the elevator starts it's horrifically slow ascent.

The elevator finally dings, and the door slides open to the second floor. They all tumble from the tight space. Batman's exit is obviously the most graceful.

"Bruce--"

"If the mask is on, I'm Batman." He points to his 'cowl,' as Alfred always calls it. The three of them enter the kitchen, finding Alfred leaning against the counter, drinking a glass of water. 

"Fine. Batman. I know that you eat this lobster thermidor for every meal. I eat with you all the time. I just don't understand why you like it." Barbara pulls out her ponytail holder, shakes out her hair, and pulls it over one of her shoulders.

Batman gasped, throwing a hand to his chest. "You have to at least try it!" He falls into a chair and throws his feet up on the counter. "Alfred, make lobster thermidor for everybody."

"As you wish, Master Bruce." The man sets the glass in the sink and gets to work.

Barbara sighs and lowers herself into the chair next to Batman's, rubbing a hand over her face. Dick just starts bouncing around the kitchen like he always does, following Alfred around as he prepares two more dishes of lobster thermidor.

"How was the mission tonight, Master Bruce?" Alfred asks, looking over his shoulder and raising a gray eyebrow.

"Yeah, it was great. Went super well." Batman folds his hands behind his head, the metal of the mask cool against his palms.

Barbara rolls her eyes at the ceiling and pushes Batman's feet off the counter. "Catwoman will be doing the rest of her meowing behind bars, thanks to--"

"Me," Batman interrupts, "Thanks to me. Batman was amazing out there."

"So was Batgirl!" Dick calls, somehow balancing three bowls on the top of his head.

"And so was Robin," Barbara says, removing the bowls from Dick's head and placing them on the counter next to the sink. She ruffles his hair affectionately and he giggles.

"Three dishes of lobster thermidor, as you requested." Alfred places the three full plates on the small kitchen table. Since they aren't eating a full meal, the long dining room table is unnecessary.

"Babs, this is the best meal you will ever have," Batman says seriously. He snatches a fork from Alfred's outstretched hand and stabs it into the lobster laying on his plate. "I am not kidding."

"Lobster thermidor, oh that's my favorite!" Dick growls, taking a large bite from his lobster and chewing loudly. Alfred's quiet laugh resounds in Batman's Bat Ears as Alfred lights himself on the edge of the table.

"Master Dick has got quite the imitation of you, Master Bruce."

"I don't sound like that," Batman pouts, burying his feelings by eating his favorite thing on the planet.

"Yeah, Bru--Batman, you do. You sound exactly like that."

Batman looks up at Barbara speaks, and notices that she's only pushing her food around her plate. "Babs! Try the lobster thermidor!" He's close to standing up and shoving it down her throat.

She sighs and takes a bite--a small bite--and chews. She ponders for a moment, and then opens her mouth to speak.

"I don't know, I guess I'm just... underwhelmed."

"WHAT?" Batman shouts, and his fork goes flying across the kitchen. "I'm overwhelmed by the fact that you're underwhelmed!" He flings himself at her, rips her fork from her hand, and holds it under her chin. "Who are you and what have you done with my Comish? Everybody likes lobster thermidor, everybody!"

"Well, I don't." Barbara's voice is flat, and she sounds unimpressed. She pushes away Batman's hand--and her fork--with one finger.

Batman doesn't stop staring at her, incredulous.

"If it makes you feel any better, Padre, I like the lobster thermidor." Dick's voice is quiet as he speaks up from across the table.

Batman sighs and retreats back to his seat. "At least the kid knows what's up," he mutters as he chomps down on more lobster.