You Should Be Here

Intro

My rock, my right hand, my best friend.

Dead.

Every day, every minute, and every second gets harder than the last.

His last breath was forcefully taken away from him by the bullet of  a gun held by a jealous girl who couldn't seem to comprehend the meaning of moving on. 

Now because of him, a mother lost her baby boy, a father lost his son, a sister lost her older brother, and a daughter lost her father. A family has been ripped to pieces. All from a swift movement of a trigger.

Without him, there is no backbone to the family.

The mother falls into drunken rage that spirals over into 3 years.

The father takes his own life. 

The sister is left alone with no one to turn to. 

But most importantly, a daughter will forever jump from man to man, or female, trying to fill that empty hole in her heart that is only meant for a father to fill. 

But he isn't here.

He should be here.

Every time I look in the mirror, expecting to see my own reflection I see his.

He stares into my eyes. He sees the hurt, the pain, and the suffering his death has caused.

But he can't do anything about it. 

I reach out to touch his face only to receive the feel of cold glass lay on my fingertips. 

I stare back at him. Only to become enraged by his still presence.

My fingers turn into fists as I punch the reflection staring back at me. 

Why did you have to leave, leave us?

"You should be here."

Hot water droplets start to form and race down my cheeks as my sadness turns to anger starts to take over.

Take deep breaths. Count to ten. Calm down.

Nothing seems to help. Nothing seems right.

This is not fair.

This is selfish.

This is wrong.

How dare you leave me in this world all alone with no as trustworthy and loyal as you?

To guide me, to teach me, love me.

Who is going to show me the difference between the guys care about me an the guys who want me for my body?

How will I learn how to fight back a guy who can't handle the answer, "No"?

I can't learn from you.

You're not here.

You should be here.

Mother will never view me the same again.

I will never be as good as a child you were.

I will always be the disappointment.

I will never be like you.

Her harsh words ringing in my ears. The obscenities that flow from tongue into my direction. The abuse. 

It's too much to handle.

I need you to save me. Save me from her. Save me from herself.

I need you. We need you.

You should be here. 

Hola lovies. This is a new story I am working on. Every chapter is dedicated to a song from the mixtape. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think. I know it's super short but it's only the intro. Future chapters will be super long so stay tuned for those. Anytwho, leave feedback. Thanks!