Lucky Shot

Pt. III

Vibrant blue eyes stared back at me from the mirror. I'd always thought that I had inherited my eyes from my dad, but today I learned that I didn't. They never were.

Why couldn't I have been a part of a normal family? How had my parents kept such a big lie going for so long?

It was the morning after I thought I saved my dad's life. After I met Wilkes, the geezer who kicked me from my normal life, into one of life and deception. Running my paddle brush through my hair once more, I checked the time. I was forced my Wilkes and my parents to drive back to the shooting range, if that's all that it was. I imagined that with such a large building, there was much more going on behind the scenes.

Stress shot through my chest and I felt nauseous. I will never understand how my parents could push me away like this after all that we had been through. They led me to believe I would be going to USC, making a life for myself. My storybook ending had changed.

This was being done for good measure, for my own safety, my mom said. Yesterday when I got home my dad had been sitting in front of the television watching the news as he does every night. He was acting like nothing was wrong, like nothing was at all different in my life. He didn't even look up at me when I walked into the room.

Walking in front of the television, I flipped it off. "What the hell happened back there?" I was pissed off that everything I had heard from Wilkes was true. I mean come on, did my dad actually think of me as his own child? Couldn't he have told me? He left me at the shooting range, only for one of the men in black to drive me home that night. 

Where had the love gone from my parents?

I had learned in a span of ten minutes that I was adopted and trained my whole life by a my parents to eventually become a agent. I didn't even know what I'd be doing as an agent! I learned that my parents were agents. I wouldn't be living at home anymore. I'd be living at 'the compound' as they called it. It all felt like some elaborate joke, and then my parents were going to jump up and say "just kidding"! Unfortunately they never did.

An emptiness grew in my chest where love was once held. I wanted nothing more than to go to Luke's house and cry about it, but he was on a plane to New York. I was an hour's car ride away from the rest of my life as agent Andrea this morning. Last night I was basically given up. My parents would never see me again. 

My screams from last night echoed in my head.

"Did you ever even love me?" I had yelled at them, "Was I really trained for this? Do you even care about me?" I asked using air quotations. "Why did you and Mom bother adopting me if you knew you would be putting me through an adulthood of hell?" Furious, my fists flew through the air as I stood across the room from my parents. I didn't want this life. I wanted the adventure I'd been dreaming of at USC.

Mom spoke carefully, making sure she didn't trip over her words. Her eyes became glossy. "We didn't know, baby. We didn't know that you would have to become an agent until you were almost five." Did they regret taking me home? The only reason I ever did Taekwondo or gymnastics was for this?

"In the car..." I said through my tears, "the man driving me told me that part of the job is killing. He said that when it comes down to it, I will have to kill who we are hired to." I fell to my knees and my hands covered my face. "How can anyone expect me to do that?"

My dad got up and knelt beside me, one hand rubbing my back. I hiccuped, and realized that the life I thought I knew was gone. I didn't know who I was, or who I would have to become. My dad's gentle voice met my ears, "I promise that it gets easier. The first one is always hard, but the more that you go through, it will haunt you less."