Diary Entry Pages 6-10
Original: March 13, 2012 - April 30, 2012
Edited: March 18, 2018
Prior to that time his eyes were glassy, and his brows drew together in frustration, his mouth slightly ajar as if words were still spilling from his lips. There was a glint in his eyes, something that reminded me of broken mirror shards, or a flickering lightbulb, and I realised that it was the first time I had ever seen him so close to breaking.
Jeongin looked away tiredly, and for the first time since I’d met him, he almost faded into the white of the walls, the bedsheets, the hospital. "Why is dying taking too long?”
I looked out the window. It started to rain once again, fat clouds finally giving into their weight and spilling raindrops across the city. Thunder rumbling, and lightning streaking across the heavens. It was late, and I was only supposed to take his blood to run a test the next day before leaving him to rest, but the look in his eyes told me that I can’t leave yet, or else I would regret it for the rest of my life.
“What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?”
Jeongin frowned at me, shaking his head and letting himself fall back into the pillow, one hand lifting to his head to thread through his hair. “Why are you asking?”
I shrugged not knowing myself I had a caring husband at home waiting for my arrival, but the question hanged in the air, Jeongin turned his head to the side, sighing. “I don’t know? I wanted to do it with my friends, but my parents wouldn’t let me. I wanted to dye my hair and go into a haunted house. And when I was finally old enough to make my own decisions… I lost my chance, didn’t I?”
I nodded my head complementing my actions, and pushed all thoughts of I’ll get fired out of my head, dragging the wheelchair out from the wooden cupboard. I had looked through Jeongin's records, and he had been technically well enough to be let out of the hospital. His last attack had been almost six months ago, and the tightness and pain in his chest had been non-existent lately. I was able to feel Jeongin’s eyes on me, frustration mixed with curiosity.
I had swallowed my growing fear, pity, everything, and only let my excitement show in my eyes. “Are you really sick of being locked up?”
Jeongin’s smile swelled, all teeth and gums, and he opened his mouth, but no words came out. He nodded instead and I grinned. I helped him out of the bed slowly, slinging his arm over my neck, and lowered him into the ready seat of the wheelchair.
The hospital is never truly asleep. Doctors and nurses and patients are always there, but luck was somehow on my side, I didn’t bump into anyone that could get me into trouble having Jeongin be reassigned to a new nurse. Even as I had exited the hospital, all I got were fleeting glances and a nod here and there.
Jeongin glowed with laughter when I wheeled him into the empty parking lot, loud, just because he could be. He spreaded his arms out wide, palm turned upwards to catch the falling rain. It was raining hard then, and both I and Jeongin were soaked, and surely if anyone caught us, I’d be fired, and Jeongin would be put under watch, but I couldn't honestly care less at that time as the wind whipped my hair across my face and rain slipped down my neck and ran down my arms.
There was something about that storm that really hit me hard, or it was something about Jeongin. I was positive that I couldn't resist smiling and laughing until my cheeks hurt.
The look I got from the cashier at the convenience store when I had passed him the hair-dye is amusing, and I didn’t bother questioning it. What a visual the pair of us had been, with Jeongin in his practically see-through hospital wear on a wheel chair, and me with my hair hanging, dripping, at the side of my face, and both of us laughing hysterically.
