Ragged✔|18+

SEVENTEEN

CLYDE

She hates me.

That one fact makes me sick to the stomach, but it's the truth.

Damn this all to hell. This girl is fucking me up in ways I find unimaginable. She's hot, I'll give her that, but so are many other girls.

Maybe it's the way she looks at me. With no judgement or resentment. That shit is fucking me up in unimaginable ways.

"Just do it gently, don't rush anything," Brooke's voice reminds me I'm in the kitchen, chopping up onions as we prepare dinner. My will to stave off tears from cutting them is dwindling by the minute.

Brooke's announcement to make Leo, Aspen and I her sous chefs for the night was met with equal parts grumbling and annoyance. Yet for some fucking reason, none of us objected to it. Although, those chocolate chip cookies she baked for us earlier were a good incentive.

"Like this?" Leo asks, fascinated by how he's stirring the pot of lamb stew.

Brooke nods, giving him an approving smile. "Yeah, like that. Clyde, pass me that."

"What?"

She gestures at the chopped onions.

"Thanks. You expecting a call?"

I knead my eyes, trying to rid off the tears. "No, why?"

She pointedly stares at my phone on the counter. She's probably noticed me checking it every few seconds.

"Just waiting for someone to text back."

"Is it that girl you were talking about the other day?"

"Yeah," I say carefully. No doubt Leo's waiting for a slipup, so is Aspen, who both just happen to freeze at Brooke's mention of "that girl."

I decide to throw caution to the wind and just ask. "Uh. . . What do you do when, you know. . .?"

"Uh, I don't know." Brooke smiles. "Maybe elaborating could give me an idea."

"I did something that made her mad at me. I've apologized but. . ."

Jesus Christ, shoot me now. I'm not really asking for advice from a woman I barely know, even if she is going to be my stepmom soon.

"Well, maybe she's just processing it," Brooke says. "Wait for her anger to dissipate before initiating any form of contact."

I nod, like a fucking idiot because what the hell am I even stressing about? I reacted like a normal person would if someone creeped up on them. But those brown eyes staring up at me in fear and confusion will haunt me for a long time.

Pussy-whipped, Leo mouths at me over Brooke's head. Fuck you, I mouth back, earning a silent chuckle from him.

* * *

Dinner is as awkward as it is uncomfortable. Brooke's tried several times to break the ice but to no avail. Dad keeps glancing over at us, as if he can't believe we're actually sitting in the dinner table and not in our rooms as is the norm in this household.

The last time we sat together like this was when my grandparents were in town and that was on Thanksgiving last year. So, yeah. It's been a long time.

Brooke tries again to revive the graveyard known as this dinner's conversation by bringing up Wade's graduation.

"So I was thinking if he'd like to have a nice, intimate dinner with just the family. Nothing big."

Leo and I share a look. The chances of Wade agreeing to that are slim to none. As soon as he got that acceptance letter from Columbia, he left this house like his ass was set on fire and never looked back. Or came back, for that matter. Except maybe when our grandparents came for the holidays. Lucky him.