The Debt

Chapter 6

          "He's going to ask you if you accept his advances towards you. You can't nod, you have to say yes . . . he doesn't rape," Amara tells me seriously, tying my hair into a light bun at the top of my head. She tells me it won't stay there long, he likes it when you have your hair up so he can untie it. Odd. I don't know how to answer this question, but there has been one question on my mind for the past couple of hours that I just have to ask but it makes me blush to think about it. 

          "Will he expect me to . . . to . . . do anything - . . ."

          "No. This isn't meant to be seen as a night of love making . . . it sends a message to your father. He doesn't want to hurt you, but he won't make it pleasurable for you. He might take it easy on you, in these circumstances but judging on the past . . . I doubt it," Sarah says, in an awkward smile. They have done their best to make it as stress-free for me, but this is not a stress free moment for me. They open the door and lead me out and gesture toward a certain hallway. 

          "Take a left and then its the door on the end," Lilliana instructs. Left, then right down to the end. I slowly make my way to the end door and twist the handle until it opens. I close the door quickly incase anyone was walking down the hallway at the time. I don't want them to see me like this. 

          I sit down on the dressing table stool and wait for him to arrive. I didn't have to wait very long as he came in a couple of minutes later. I don't look at him but I can see him in the reflection of the mirror getting closer. My heartbeat increases so quickly my chest hurts. Tears form in my eyes already and nothing has even happened. 

          "Stand up," he says softly but assertively and not wanting to anger him I do as he says. I look away from him and toward the ground. He lifts my chin with a finger and takes the bun out of my hair letting my long brown hair fall to my waist. He gestures towards the bed with a blank look on his face. Does he feel nothing towards this? It's not normal for someone to do this to other people. 

          "Siena," Nikolas barks at me. I have to remember that this is meant as a punishment for my Pappy; but all I can see is punishment on me. I blindly step toward the bed he lays me down. His muscly body towers over me as I violently shake.

          "You know, many woman would kill to be in the position you are in," Nikolas states, doing his best to help me feel as calm given the situation. I breathe out quickly as I look away from him not wanting to see him like this. If he is going to do it, can he just get on with it? It's making me nervous watching him above me like that. 

         "Do you accept this?" he asks me, turning my head to face him once again. Trembling I feel myself nodding, but remembering Amara's instructions I force my mouth to push out a barely audible 'yes'. 

         "Don't look so frightened, you are in safe hands," he says but it doesn't help me one little bit. I look away from him as he lifts my nightdress up and spreads my legs. I feel him pulling down his boxers and he stops for a second. He wipes away the tears that are falling down my cheeks. He kisses me a couple of times before I feel him enter me. It hurts so much and I yelp a little but I quieten down as he pushes himself further in. He took my innocence from me and that's something I can never get back. I know that's what was agreed but it doesn't make it right. 

          A little while later Nikolas finishes and pulls out of me, making me flinch away from him. I see his shoulders physically drop as he sighs. 

         "I'm sorry. It doesn't help you to hear this, but I hate this just as much as you do," Nikolas admits, leaning on the bedpost and staring at the floor awkwardly. I guess it doesn't do to argue with him about it but I disagree. If you don't like doing something, you don't do it. Simple. He stands up and puts his dressing gown on before he moves towards me. I quickly try to get away from him but he scoops me up and walks toward the door. He carries me out through the door and back to my room where he sits me on the chair next to my bed.