My Truth

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Anxiety built a house in my mind and my fear is keeping all the doors and windows locked. I'm constantly running in circles, searching for a way out. The house is slowly molding into itself, i am afraid that once it collapses I will too. Sometimes i convince myself I'm better off alone because who could love someone who's a walking question mark, full of what if's and why's. Drowning because everyday is a rainy day and when I find sunshine I begin to miss the gray clouds. Sadness and being alone is all I've ever known. Every time someone attempts to kick that door in my mind down anxiety finds a way to build a bigger barrier and I am to afraid and empty to stop it. There is a wound across my heart, everyone I've ever loved ripped the stitches out and left my soul for dead. So when you tell me that I am to complicated to love or too much to handle, you don't understand. You don't understand that every time I say I love you I have to pick splinters out of my bleeding hands because me saying I love you means that I'm breaking down the barrier to that door. 

-Be patient with me