An Ocean of Words

Chapter 1

A writer that is born from heartache.

"Vanessa, won't you go for lunch?" Vanessa said right after our teacher left the classroom. What an eating-machine.

"Oh I will. Just have to finish one chapter." I said while reading my book.

"Oh c'mon Van, you can read that book after you eat your lunch, bookworm." She said. I can definitely hear her hunger in her tone. Yikes.

"Okay let's go my dear Athena." Inakbayan ko na siya at kinaladkad papunta sa cafeteria. 

Bunch of students already scattered in the campus kaya naman medyo kailangan na namin magmadali dahil malamang mahaba na pila sa cafeteria. 

Everyone greeting me "good day". Oh how I wish I am really having one. When can I have a day that I can relax and be genuinely happy? Well, I just left that thought with a sigh.

"Damn it, Athena. Wag ka magmadali, hindi ka mauubusan ng pagkain." Singhal ko sa kanya. Masama na tingin ko sa kanya. Paano ko ba 'to naging best friend?!

"Pero mauubusan tayo ng oras!" Oh she got a point. Hmp.

Nang makarating kami sa cafeteria ay himalang walang gaanong students probably busy with their orgs? Malapit na ang concert sa school and some orgs are going to perform like drama clubs, mucical, dance and so much more. 

"Ohhhh myyy!! Am I dreaming? The cafeteria is almost empty!" What the hell! She just yelled.

"Can you please tone down your voice and order our food while I find place for the two of us?" I said then walked out.

Pumwesto ako sa table kung saan tanaw yung labas which is the field. I just noticed that most of the students were there. Hmm

"Ano sinisiyasat mo dyan? Naghahanap ka lovelife?" That was the worst statement i heard from her!

"Definitely not, Athena. It's just that it seems that there's a commotion out there."  Napatingin naman sya at parang may naalala... pero walang balak sabihin sakin.

"Yeah. The varsity players are back. Natalo sila sa i-don't-know-and-i-don't-care-kung ilan. Pero yes, they're back to study." She said while looking at her food, avoiding my gaze.

Ilang minuto ang lumipas bago ako nakasagot.

"Oh. So he's back."

As usual pagkakaguluhan, trending mga balita about them. Mean girls will sure come out. It will be an interesting concert for all of them... not for me though. 

"You okay?" Napansin nya siguro ang pagtahimik ko. Hay.

"Yep. Don't worry. Okay na 'ko diba?" Sabi ko sabay ngiti. I wish that I really am okay.

"Iwasan mo na lang, Van." Sabi nya. She has nothing to say.

"We both know that I can't. He's everywhere. And, he's our classmate. I just have to act normal. Drown myself in books and listen to music." I said. 

"Sabi mo eh." Sabi nya at tuluyan nang nanahimik.

Sabay kaming naglalakad pabalik. Dalawang rooms pa bago namin marating ang room pero rinig na ang mga pagbati nila kay Sebastian.

Pagkapasok ko ng room, biglang tumahimik ang lahat. Wth! I hate this kind of scene.

"Hi, pinsan! Talo kayo no? Hahahaha! Wala sa kondisyon?" Baati saby tawa ni Athena na nakapagpaalis ng mabigat na atmosphere dito sa room.

Nakatingin sila sakin as if they are waiting for something.

"Hi Basti. Congrats, you guys are still the champs for us!"  I said.

After classes, there are no more scenes for me and it's better that way. Dumiretso kaagad ako sa bakanteng lote sa dulo ng subdivision namin, maraming damo at tanging waiting shed lang masisilungan mo kung sakaling di maganda ang panahon. Buti na lang maganda ang panahon at pwede ako tumambay habang nagsusulat.

I have nothing to write... really.

But i remember, he's back. It is something to write about.

The blog site is created by an organization in our school and everyone is free to post their feelings there revealing their identity or not. In my case, i write my feelings in the form of poems and almost everyone relates from it so it became my passion. The thing is... I hid my identity in the name of primrose.

I fixed everything before the sunset. I hate sunsets. It's a symbol of ending. And I hate endings. 

"Ma! Nandito na ako." Sigaw ko pagkapasok ng bahay namin.

"Magpahinga ka na. Kumain ka na ba?" Tanong nya pagkalabas ng kusina. 

"Hindi pa. Nasan na si kuya?" Tanong ko.

"Nandon ulit." Pagkasabi nya non ay umakyat na ko sa kwarto dahil ayoko na marinig pa ang sasabihin nya.

Pinost ko na agad ang naisulat ko at natulog na muli.

The following days will be surely tiring.

Entry #2

He's back

The guy who caused my heart a crack

But I no longer give a f*ck

My heart is already locked.

primrose