What if you fall in love with you're Idols? Not like a normal crush or a celebrity crush. If you really fall in love, like real love? Even if it's just one-sided love. What if she is so desperate to talk to him? But she has no way. And she is just t...
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Snow
I was thinking about my day at school. It wasn't that great, I got hurt again.
My best friend did ignore me, just because I said I don't like my classmate Seoyoung.
I was annoyed with her, I'm only friends with Seoyoung because of Sujin.
I sighed, it did hurt me that Sujin didn't Talk to me. I was all alone again.
I was still thinking about the day, my thoughts got Disturbed, because of my phone. One of the groups chat I was in did spam again, their were talking about an app were you can talk to youre Idol's.
Not the real one of course, but still they responded on their own.
I had nothing better to do, so I searched for the app in the app store. The name of the app was MyIdolTalk. After some few seconds the app was download.
It wasn't that complicated to install the app, it only did take me like 30 seconds. I choose V, I know I can take other, but he was my favourite artists.
After the instructions, I started chatting with him. I changed his name into Tae<3
Tae<3
You: Hello..
Tae: Hi there ^^
You: Umm how are you?
Tae: I'm fine but without you in nothing!!!!
It was fun, texting that robot Tae. He said sweet thing, it sounded like him.
But reality is pulling me back out, the bad thoughts did came back.
"Y/N, you know it's not real." I said to myself. I guess it's true.
It was fun talking to robot Tae but I get bored easily.
I was walking down the road towards the woods.
Why? Because I feel awfull, I was feeling like I could dying.
I breathed in. My lungs started filling with the ice cold air, it did feel good.
I liked it because it calmed me down. As I put my Icy cold hands into my jacket pocket, it began to snow.
It was the first December snow.
I liked it.
I liked the cold, it somehow made me feel alive. Like life has a meaning or that I'm fine but I knew I was not.
After the long walk in the woods I got back home into the warmth and noise place.
I liked silent, it wasn't stressful or hectic.
My parents looked at me, questioning were I was and what did I do. I just looked at them.
After looking at them for quite some time I waved a little and my smiledat them.
after that made my way upstairs.
02:00 AM
I was silently crying in the bathroom, so that no one will wake up. The hot salty Tearys streamed down my checks, till they hit the ground.
Blood was already on the floor. I was ready to do more knew cuts.
Again the sharp silver object, kissed my skin with the sharp end.
I painted in my arm. My arm Burnd of the sensation.
I slices it more and more inot my arm, till the warm red liquid came out.
I loved the pain, you get easily addicted to it.
It did hurt, but I liked it.
If your questioning why I did that, here is your answer.
It makes me feel alive, because I feel pretty much empty inside.
I don't want to be alive, but I cant leave my family and let them suffer with pain.
After cleaning everything up. I slipped into my big warm overzies hoodie and walked towards my room.
I looked into the mirror, my eyes were puffy and bloodshot red. I have to fix this later in the morning.
I tried to fall asleep again, but I couldn't.
I was to busy with so many thoughts and issue about myself.
I didn't eat dinner, I'm starving myself again. I really hate my body, I want to be skinny.
After a while my alarm did go off and I knew I had to get up, I had school and couldn't miss it.
I had exam's, life really hates me.
-------------- A/N: I think I should tell you this. I hope you enjoyed that chapter FPA. I be writing soon again, till then bye!
