Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be

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by project_mayhem

by project_mayhem

Dearest ,

I don't wish to be a certain person, because I feel that if I try to be someone, wouldn't they lose the thing that makes them special to me?

Instead, I wish to be this thing.

I don't want to be perfect; god no. I also know I am about as far from perfection as you get.

However I do wish to be a more improved version of myself.

I wish that instead of having hopeless crushes that torture me, I could be brave enough to actually say something, and not be afraid of the oncoming rejection that we all know is coming.

I wish (and this is totally cliche) that I could be pretty, or have a nicer body. I know I will never be stick thin, nor will I have the face of a model, and that's okay. But I would like to be kind of pretty instead of what I am now.

I wish that I could fulfill my dreams; find a course to take in astrophysics, and actually be good at writing.

I wish I was kinder, more selfless, because god knows I'm a really, really shitty person.

I wish I could make my family laugh and smile instead of upsetting everyone and making everything horrible.

I wish I could be a good friend. Because I really do suck at that.

And I know this won't happen, and I get that, because that's how life works. And that really sucks. But I will keepstriving forwards, because thats how I work.

-Lily