Love BonneyRAWR

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by BonneyRAWR

by BonneyRAWR

Dear World...

Umm... I don't talk about this... Especially in public I guess you can say, but... I have Depression...

It started when my mom died (December 31, 2014). My world changed when that happened. And over the years... It just got worst, and worst. I started to go to a therapist and hoping that she would help me, but she just made it worst. She just kept saying that everything that happened in my life was my fault... Anyways, since that didn't work, I never went back. (I am considering on getting a new one)

My depression kept getting worst, and worst after that. I started to self-harm at times... I even tried things that could have sent me to the hospital... Or worst... But... That all stopped when I met an AMAZING person. His name is Max. I was so happy when I asked him out and he said yes. My world changed for the second time.

He was there for me when no one else was. He was the person that I could talk to when I needed someone to talk to. Whenever. He never made fun of me for whatever I had in my mind / thought. He was always my shoulder to cry on. He was my everything, honestly. He was my everything since Christmas of 2016 to Valentines Day of 2017. No, he didn't brake-up with me... He, uh... He died. I wanted to die when I found out about it, honestly.

And, once again, my life changed (for the third time).

My depression got worst. I started to self-harm even more. I even tried to OD (overdose) with my dad's pills. And, of course, it didn't work. I stopped doing that when I had friends that "cared" for me. They told me to stop self-harming and I did. They said that they'll stay with me forever and I believed them... And that was a mistake. Some of them said that they're going to a different school when the school year was over and they said that they'll keep in touch, but they never did. They left me. I felt lied to.

When the new school year started, I was glad that I at least knew some people. And in that school year (this school year) we've become close. And I met more friends (yay me!). I also met someone else that I could trust (hopefully).

The only thing that I don't like about this year is that I got FIVE panic attacks. Panic attacks are new to me. When it happened at first, I never understood what was going on. I was terrified. But, later on, I started to get used to it. Whenever it happens, I just breathe in, and breath out. Again, and again.

Just to finish this up... I just want to say, no matter what's going on I'm just like you (maybe, I dunno), and I deserve love. Everyone should. No matter what. Everyone should be treated equally.

Love,