The diary of Tiffany.

Chapter One.

Dear diary..

Tuesday night 24th of December, 11pm

I've relapsed. This time it wasn't intentional, if anything I've been wanting to get better, but the blade got the better of me, as it always does.

Hi, I'm Tiffany 17 year old reculsive old soul who's been self-harming for about 5 years, I've been battling depression for what seems to be a lifetime, attempted suicide?- 13 times. There is more scars on my body than there's details on a sculpture, my bathroom tub hasn't been filled with blood for 2 weeks, up until now ofcourse .

I come from a family of addiction, both sides sadly. My father is a raging alchoholic-herione addict, all my uncles are cocaine/herione/needle injecting junkies, whilst my mother is a chain smoker. -My addiction? Self-harm and suicidal tendencies.

I had a brother, but he is gone now, i guess the man above suggested it was time for him to part ways. His room has gone untouched the minute he left the house that night, I walk in it occasionally and sit on his unmade bed with nothing but tears streaming down my face, he committed suicide the night he left, jumped in front of a bolt train on his way home from a friends place, I recall him kissing my forehead on his way out, the very last words he said to me were "you're a good kid, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, I love you."

There were many times I tried getting him back from the "dead", stupid spells, witchcraft rituals, even placing both my hands together, closing my eyes and praying even tho I'm not a very firm believer of God. Obviously none of those worked, nothing ever fucking works. I hate him for fucking leaving me here to rot while I cop the abuse and neglect my family show me.

My brother committed suicide on the 13th of January 2010, 2 years ago, and the 13th of January 2012 is the day I'm planning to take my own too.

It's currently 1.30am, i need to go clean the blood off the tiles and bathroom tub before heading to bed. Oh and it's Christmas Day today, hopefully mum shows up, she's been gone for a week now.

Hey guys, if you're reading this; thank you for giving my writing a chance to be read by another other than myself, if use are happy with what I've written so far and would like me to continue, please tell me so. If use have any advice I'd be more than happy to take it on board :) again- Thank you!