The best kept secrets aren't hidden in closets (Gintama FF)

Simple tasks can always become bigger than they should be

"I can't believe this. What sort of relative has he convinced himself he is?!"

Yuu Igarashi shifted the weight of the stack of papers from one arm to the other.

"I'm not really bothered about the whole 'I'm-a-transvestite' cliché that he's gotten into his head. It's his choice."

She rounded a corner, swerving to avoid others as they passed, blissfully empty-handed and unaware of the cramping pain spreading up her lower arms.

"I don't even care that he moved to Kyoto with...Hanako. He can do whatever he likes as long I don't have to lend him money."

A shout of anger and a sudden cracking sound caused her to glance sideways sharply. The door slammed open and a large, dark shape flew out, slamming into her before she could step out of the way.

Papers flew everywhere and she flew over the veranda and through some bushes, skidding to a halt and avoiding the humiliation of falling into the pond.The weight of a man settled on her lower spine but her head was throbbing too much for her to pay the human anchor much attention.

"What I really want to know is-"

Somewhere above her head, she could hear Yamazaki calling her name. In the distance, a gorilla had taken up a screech about the cost of building maintenance and a demon was chewing on a cigarette, growling about idiots and insubordination.

Yuu gritted her teeth. She donated to charity and sorted her trash properly. She'd been a good daughter and sister, friend and student.

"-how did he convince me this was a good idea?!"

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"I'm really sorry, Igarashi-san."

"You keep saying that, Yamazaki. It wasn't your fault. Don't sweat it."

Yuu rolled her shoulder experimentally. It ached a little and the bruises would probably turn black and blue before they faded. Yamazaki shifted uncomfortably, clutching his tea in his hands.

They were seated on the veranda, drinking tea, at Kondo's insistence. The chief had caught her before she could slink away and attempt to beat the vice chief into the ground. She preferred Hijikata's gruff cursing to Kondo's high-pitched wail, although she was sure the latter meant well.

"You keep saying it's not my fault, but that's not quite true. If I hadn't made Hijikata-san angry, he wouldn't have thrown me."

"Demons are bad-tempered; it's nature's way of reminding the world that time cannot erase assholes. Don't blame yourself for that."

Yamazaki's lips twitched up into a nervous smile. The vice chief was still prowling around the complex - if he heard Igarashi saying those things, the spy knew there would be bloody consequences. While he might have agreed with his friend, he valued his health and his head too much to make any committed comments about their superior's infamous temper.

"I guess so. Still, you're a tough guy, Igarashi. To survive being hit like that with just a shoulder injury is pretty amazing."

"Lucky is probably closer to the mark."

"I guess. Still, you should take it easy."

"...I will."

Yuu turned her head to watch as Yamazaki stood and drained the last of the tea from his cup. Her cup still sat beside her, steam rising from the cup and curling itself into strange shapes.

"I'm on duty, now. The chief gave you the afternoon off, right?"

"He told you?"

"Okita-taicho did. Anyway, take it easy, alright?"

"...Ah."

Yamazaki watched her wordlessly, then sighed and walked away. Yuu waited until he turned the the corner at the end of the veranda, then picked up her tea and took a sip, leaning against the sliding door and looking up at the sky.

"...A tough guy, huh?"

Placing the cup down beside her, she leaned back with her arms tucked behind her head and closed her eyes. Her fingers twisted strands of her hair. She wanted to let it free so it could fall down her back. Her brother's happy-go-lucky face flashed across her mind's eye and her lips twitched in irritation.

"Dammit, Masaru, this is your fault. How did you end up getting away with a stunt like this? If I'm caught, you are definitely bailing me out of jail. Hijikata would probably have me commit seppuku if he ever found out."

"The wind will change and your face will stay like that."

She sat up quickly at the sound of the familiar monotone voice, ignoring her shoulder's throb of pain.

"Sougo!"

The captain was wearing his usual blank expression, a bazooka balanced carefully on one shoulder. Yuu had always found it a little unnerving how her friend handled something so dangerous with such a careless attitude.

"If I can catch you off guard so easily, it's not really surprising Yamazaki beat you so easily."

"You make it sound like I lost a cage match."

Sougo sat down, dropping the bazooka beside him. "You'd probably kill Yamazaki if you were ever in a match."

"Your sweet talk never fails to make me swoon." She nodded at the bazooka. "How many times today?"

"Thirteen."

"Isn't thirteen an unlucky number?"

Sougo blinked at her thoughtfully. "I guess. It's supposed to bring bad luck, if you're superstitious."

"Right. Do you want a hand?"

"Girls shouldn't say such things, Yuu-chan."

Yuu snorted. Sougo had known her gender right from the start. At first, she had pleaded innocent to the accusations he had shot at her (literally - he had spent her first month with the Shinsengumi chasing her with his beloved bazooka). In the end, he had walked in on her changing after she had been caught up in a bazooka blast that had been meant for Hijikata and she'd run out of excuses.

"Technically, I'm a boy."

"Touché."

Behind them, a sliding door was slammed open and shut again, accompanied by a quiet grumbling and familiar footsteps. She couldn't stop the sly grin that spread across her face.

Raising her voice, she asked,"How many candles d'you think we'd need for something like that?"

The footsteps paused. Yuu bit back a laugh.

Sougo didn't miss a beat. "Who knows? Forty? Fifty?"

"That many? We can't do-"

A gruff baritone cut her off. "What the hell would you need fifty candles for, Igarashi?"

Yuu tilted her head to look at the man standing over her. Hijikata Toushiro was a handsome man. Any female with warm blood in her veins openly acknowledged that.

However, after spending three months in the company of the prince of sadists, Yuu's blood had cooled somewhat. Even if she had admitted any sort of attraction to the man, her circumstances and his personality were enough to put her off the idea.

"Oi. Are you listening?"

"We were going to make you a cake, Hijikata-san."

"Like hell you were!"
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After throwing myself head first into the Gintama universe, I decided to write this. Opinions?

Also, prompts would be much appreciated, as I live with a semi-permanent case of writer's block. Thanks :)

Before I forget, thanks for reading this. It's appreciated. It inspires me to get off my ass and write :)