You Deserve More

Unsaid Words

Chuuya slept soundly as now a 3-month-old Rei slept next to him. Fyodor looked down at Chuuya and Rei and he smiled, it was very chilly and rainy outside, and even with the heater on the cold was terrible, even for someone like Fyodor who is more than use to the cold. Fyodor covered up Chuuya and Rei warmly, and he kissed both of them on the forehead gently. Fyodor quietly made his way to the bedroom door, and he cracked it behind him as he did not want to wake his sleeping lover and son. Fyodor made his way down the hallway, and he shuffled his way into the kitchen. Fyodor started brewing some coffee, and he also took a premade bottle out of the fridge because he knew it wouldn't be too much longer before Rei woke up. While the coffee was brewing, Fyodor pulled out some eggs. He grabbed a mixing bowl and he cracked 8 eggs inside. He made sure to add pepper and salt, and he mixed the eggs up quickly with a fork. He turned on the stove and put a rectangular pan on the burner, he put oil inside the pan and let it get hot. Within 20 minutes Fyodor had two plates of Tamagoyaki made with a blow of rice on the side, and some cut up fish. Fyodor poured two cups of coffee. One left black like Chuuya liked, and the other with minimal sugar and cream added.

Fyodor was about to go wake Chuuya for breakfast, but before he could. He saw Chuuya coming around the corner with Rei in his arms, and Rei's little hand twisted in his hair. Rei was rubbing his eye and getting quickly fussy as it was around the time for him to eat. Chuuya bounced him on his hip as he shook the bottle up.

"Sh. Sh. I know... I know Rei. I'm hurrying." Chuuya said as he sat down at the kitchen table, and leaned Rei into his arm cradling him. Chuuya put a bib under Rei's chin, and he put the bottle in his mouth. Rei started drinking the milk, and he closed his eyes as Chuuya held him. Fyodor chuckled.

"Good morning Chuuya." Fyodor said as he kissed his forehead.

"Goodmorning." He smiled. "Thanks. For making breakfast." Chuuya said.

"No problem. You do a lot. You deserve as much of a break as you can get." Fyodor smiled.

Chuuya felt Rei move his head and he looked down realizing he was done with the bottle. Chuuya sat the bottle on the table, he used the bib to wipe Rei's mouth, and he also sat that on the table. Chuuya was about to burp him but Fyodor reached down taking Rei out his hands. Fyodor put Rei on his shoulder, and he started burping him.

"Eat. It's your first day back at work for a couple hours, and you need some food."

Chuuya nodded as he started to eat. "It was nice that Mori agreed to let me start slowly working."

Fyodor nodded. "Mmm... yes, I think. Three times, a week 4 to 5 hours, isn't bad, you still have to take it easy Chuuya don't forget what your doctor said."

"I know..." Chuuya said as he chewed on his rice and egg.

"I am glad to see your postpartum depression is getting a little better though. The medicine seems to be helping."

Chuuya nodded. "It is." He smiled.

Fyodor finished burping Rei, and he walked over to the living room and put Rei into his swing buckling him in. He turned it on and watched as it started to swing back and forth. Fyodor turned on the television and put on Tom and Jerry for Rei to watch. Fyodor walked back into the kitchen and he sat in the seat next to Chuuya. He put his hand on Chuuya's and his eyebrows furrowed in worry.

"What? What's wrong?" Chuuya asked.

"Y-You'd tell me if it got worse... right Chuuya?"

"Of course, I would Fyo..."

Fyodor rubbed his thumb on his hand. "I'm just saying... if you realize it's too early for you to start working again. And I mean working with functioning well. Please... tell me okay?"

Chuuya nodded. "...okay."

"Promise me?"

"I promise. Please stop worrying." Chuuya said as he leaned forward and kissed Fyodor chastely on the lips. Chuuya pulled away and took one last bite of his food.

"I should get going." Chuuya said as he stood up. Chuuya walked over to Rei and he kneeled down giving his son a kiss on the forehead. "Mommy loves you, be good okay? Don't cause too much trouble you little menace." Chuuya chuckled and so did Fyodor as he stood up.

"Don't worry. We will be fine. Me and Rei will just have a lazy day." Fyodor said as he followed Chuuya to the door.

Chuuya kneeled down putting on both shoes and tying them. Chuuya stood back up grabbing his coat of the coat hanger and putting it on his shoulders, he looked at Fyodor one last time.

"Are you sure? I mean... I can stay if you want..."

Fyodor chuckled. "Sounds like you're trying to reassure yourself more than me." Fyodor said as he pulled Chuuya closer and kissed his lips again. "We will be fine. Go. I promise you if we need something I will call okay?"

Chuuya nodded and sighed. "Okay... okay... Well I am off then."

Fyodor smiled as he watched Chuuya grab his keys.

"Hey." Fyodor said. "We love you."

Chuuya looked back smiling. "I love you both too." Chuuya waved goodbye as he opened the front door and closed it behind him. Chuuya heard the click of the bottom lock as he started walking down his apartment complex hallway. Chuuya slipped his keys into his pocket and as he was rounding the corner he bumped into someone.

"Oh. I'm sorry I wasn't-" Chuuya's eyes widened.

"Dazai?!"

"Chuuya!" Dazai said smiling. "I have been trying to get a hold of you for months. Why haven't you returned any of my calls?"

Chuuya stood there in shock, looking at Dazai. "I-"

"Chuuya, what's going on? Please."

"I couldn't- I couldn't face you..." Chuuya said honestly.

"Why? What's so bad that you couldn't just tell me?"

"Because-"

Dazai was now invading his personal space. "Because what Chuuya?"

"Because- Because I was pregnant..."

"What?! With who's baby Chuuya?!"

"Y-Yours..."

Dazai and Chuuya locked eyes, and the silence between them was the scariest moment Chuuya thought of. Because he didn't know how Dazai was going to react.