" Cameron, you are shit. You always will be shit. You're just like you're parents."
" You aren't a man, you are just a stupid little boy who is irresonsible."
" Fuck you Cameron, We are nothing. "
Constant words I hear on a daily basis. One out of those 3 hurt the most. Not because of what
that person said it's who it came from.
Want to know what hurts the most? Everything that person said about me was true. Everything
everyone tells me on a daily basis is true.
You really aren't going to understand what I am actually talking about and why would people say
those rude things to me. So I'm going to go back 6 months ago.
Six months ago, I met this girl who I thought was just perfect. Listen to my words... THOUGHT.
Later down the road we starting dating and I thought she was the love of my life, everything was going
perfect. At the time she appeared to be an angel..
One night I met her family and friends, I got along with her brother really well. A little too well. I
just enoyed talking to him. We got along instantly. It was like he knew me my whole life. I know things
were getting weird between me and him. Everytime I talked to him I would smile more than I did when
I was with his sister. When we were messaging each other, I would just talk to him and block her out
complely. I knew her brother was gay. All my life I liked girls until I met him. He confused me.
Time passed by and I couldn't take it anymore. I needed him more than I could imangine. I wanted
him. Not in a friendly way. I knew it was wrong to have feelings about her brother but I couldn't control
it. It just happened. I ignored him for a week. He caught on to me. He knew why I was ignoring him for
some strange reason. For awhile we just played this guessing game about why I was ignoring him. He
got of me. That night while he had a boyfriend and I was dating his sister we had sex. It wasn't just
sex to me. It was a lot more. It meant a lot more. & even if we did it to this day it would still mean alot
more to me than just sex.
You're probably wondering what does this even have to do with anything..
Well uhh, to this day I'm in love with him. I'm in love with someone who doesn't want to love again, or
at least for awhile. I'm in love with someone who I would do anything for. I'm in love with someone
who is absouletly perfect for me and to me. But his feelings are different .It's hard as shit to deal with.
Yeah, Of course he loves me but it's not the same. It never will be. We dated before. I wasn't good
enough. He left me for someone who wasn't and still isn't good enough for him. Someone who doesn't
care for him.
I'm waiting on this one day when he is ready to love like when we first go together.
Would he leave me again for the dick head?
Or will he choose me? Someone who always been there.
Someone who's been in the shadows screaming for your attention.
We'll see.
To be continued....
