Dear World,
Hello, I'm gay, I know this is know about my friend group, but there's more to this. I learned when I was in fifth grade when I saw my ex-friend, Chase. I was confused for a long time, before sixth grade when I came to terms. After that, I began lying my butt off and stopped letting people into my life. Which just drove me crazy before I opened up to two people. My now best friends who love me for me, hopefully. It's hard, being something you're not, faking to be liked, smiling to show you're...always...happy when life is crumbling infront of you-
but that's not what I'm talking about here. I have knew what I am, it's not been three years since I accepted myself. I talked to many guys, smiling at them, light flirting before those words "HE'S GAY!" Is shot out and I quickly deny those true, honest, and known facts. To tell you the truth, I wanted to stop everything for the longest time, cut myself, kill myself, just leave the world. Before I had a boyfriend online, who treated me like hell. I stopped, went to more guys on the internet. I met some nice once, mean ones, I was desperate to love a guy again. What happened in fifth grade is in my past, but I think about it time to time. I tend to yell at myself for no reason, saying horrible stuff and blame everything on myself. I hide behind a mask to hide myself from those people. I look a people, thinking, is it worth it to just be known? I want love, I will do anything for it. I would ask out a friend of mine, but he's dating my best friend. It's hard, seeing them so happy with each other. I want him being happy, but at the same time...I want him happy with me, not her? Does it make me bad, I don't know. But I know what I do, just give up?
Well, there's not much things to say. I know I am normal, but I don't feel normal at all. But anyways, this is about me, that's what I have. I know this wasn't good, but oh well!
Love, The_Neko111
