Welcome to my "autobiography" if you will. I guess I'll go ahead and introduce myself; my name is Maeve, or that's at least what I want you to call me, and I have synesthesia. You may have heard of it, you may not. It's a "stimulation of the brain" that makes you associate one thing with one or more other things. To put it simply, synesthesia when people associate colors with numbers, you visualize a personal calendar (unlike the usual calendar), and tasting sounds, so on and so forth. The type I have means that I associate numbers with personalities and genders, as well as colors. Ever since I was little, I remember sitting in class and thinking to myself things like "4 and 3 are best friends!" and, "Nobody likes 7." But not only did I see numbers with colors and personalities, I also associated people with colors. For example, I view myself as a full blue. Not terribly interesting, people generally don't strongly dislike the color, but rather, they're neutral it. They're neutral to me.
I've probably bored you for long enough, but this information will be important later.
I remember I had recently moved to the dinky little town of, let's call it, Merrifield (for the sake of discretion). I'd only lived there a year, and I was homeschooled. It was summer, and the school year was upon us. Me being me, I hadn't made any friends since I moved. The neighborhood was devoid of girls my age, and frankly my parents didn't understand that. Or rather, they didn't want to believe that there were no girls I could be friends with. I remember my mother would say things like "I saw this girl outside, Maeve. Why don't you go walk to her house and ask her to play basketball with you?" And when nodded reluctantly and didn't act on her suggestion, I'd get yelled at. I knew she just wanted me to dismiss that lonely feeling that took root in my stomach, but what she didn't understand was that I wasn't 8 anymore. I couldn't just go outside and make friends at the snap of her fingers. Teenagers aren't like that. They can be shallow and from simply looking at you, determine whether or not they want to associate with you.
After a series of events, my father had lost it and decided that I was going to school. A public school. With real kids. It had been two years at the time, since I was last in a public school, and I knew it was something I never wanted to go back to. I pleaded with him to change his mind, but he didn't care. What he said was final, and I was going whether I liked it or not.
I remember how much dread built up within me those days leading up to the start of school. When I'd gone to enroll with my mother, the lady at the counter noticed my discomfort and said, "Don't worry about the other kids. Since they're coming from the middle schools, a lot of them won't know each other! You'll be just fine!" Boy, was she wrong.
On the first day, I sat alone in all of my classes. At lunch, I sat at the table in the lunch room nearest to the door. Want to guess who I sat with? If you guessed nobody, give yourself a pat on the back. The same happened scenario took place every day of he week, except for Friday. The day, my whole life was flipped upside down, for better or for worse. The day I met her.
I was in my "special" PE class, where we would dance around and frolic while everyone else ran laps and did push-ups. It was just me, and three other girls in the class, up until that day. I remember our teacher was absent, so instead of getting a sub, she made us sit in the big gym with the regular gym kids. The girls from my class rather clearly didn't care for me, and formed a group a ways away from me. I was left alone with my book bag and my phone, texting my mother so I looked less like the loner I knew I was.
I glanced up as the door to the gym creaked open just enough for a skinny blonde girl to squeeze through and slide down against the wall. We made eye contact, and I glanced back down at my phone out of awkwardness. I remember as the gym teacher talked, I would occasionally look over at her, and I would find her looking over at me too. Both of us were alone.
When I least expected it, I found that she had walked over to me, plopping down right in front of me, a grin on her face.
This is what would change my life as I knew it. This blonde girl with crystal blue eyes, would make my life just a little less lonesome, whether or not I realized she would at the time.
YOU ARE READING
Color Theory
Non-FictionThis is the true story of my highshool experience, through love interests and toxic friendships, I'll show you what it's like to be an antisocial teenage girl.