My Haunted Nightmare

My Scars

Authors Note:

"Hey guys its Natalie, So this isnt one of my normal Storie im writing, most the time i only write fanfictions based on Tv shows, However im currently going though a lot of stress and depression atm and i thought it would be a relief to write a story kinda based on events of my life with a dark twist,
The charcter portrayed is april rose and please note not every thing happend but as the best writers say, "the best story is the one that excites us" Im gonna change some bits like people names etc just for privacy, and im gonna add a bit of other details into it,Anyway enough of me ramberling on, Enjoy the story"

START:

April POV:
I never thought this would go this far, Wanting to carve at my own skin to release the intoxic pain that i was going through, It felt like my life was at its limits. I was constantly crying myself to sleep everynight, exhausting myself till i felt numb enough to pass out, My arms was filled with the constant scars that was burried deep among my wrist, some new, some old... it didnt matter, any signs of the scars healing and i was slice them back open again the next night. This was my dangerous routine, and i couldnt change it. The feeling of being imobilzed was all i could feel these last few weeks, the feeling of the world against you and haveing no where to go but your final rest, Yes thats how i was feeling....and no one could help me.

Now your probly wondering how could a teenage girl have it that dreadfull, expecialy since  she has so much going for her, a good carrier, loveing family, popularity, money. Well you see that is all lies, Yes i know i have success and wealth, but that success can only bring so much happiness, and whats happiness when your alone. Being alone is what i spent most my life, you would think that id be use to it... but im not.

"Im different" is what im constantly told, by doctors, by my parents, by family and friends...Different. Im a teenage girl trapped in a 7 year olds  mind craveing for a bit of attention, respect, love even.

But i never get it. And even if i do, its soon taken away from me.

Ive made too many mistakes because im different, because i dont fit it, i dont understand the world in ways others do. My mum says its down to my Autism, A horrible mental health problem that only a 1 in every 100 people have. I use to believe that haveing Autism was a good thing, it was like a superpower that no one else had because it gave you special skills and talents, but soon did i learnt the horrible truth of the  mental health problem. It made you stick out in a crowd of people, it stoped you being in public places for too long in case you have a melt down, It made communicateing with friends almost impossible to do,  It gave you Aniexty which caused your body to go in shock when you are in a bad situation, it made you avoide things beacause it didnt feel right to you or would cause you more halm. But most of all, it caused me to be depressed and lonely.

My scars among my wrist are beacuase of my autism, beacause i couldnt deal with situations i was in, and would avoid them causeing me more pain then what it started off with. I never really understood what triggered it at first, it was only a few months back when my life started turning for the worst that i finaly understood.

My head is messed up.

But How did my life get to the point of wanting to end it completly? Well thats simple... My life has been messed up from the start.

Growing up i was abused..... Abused in so many ways; Mentally, Physically, Emotionally, I was bullied, Sexually and violantly Harrassed, Torchered and pained. Almost everyday one of these things happened to me, there were only a few times that i could actualy rember being fully happy, but happiness dosent last in a world of pain.

It's been this ways as long as i can rember, even as a young child i was depressed, constantly being told to grow up and set an example for my younger siblings, never being allowed to have a childhood or play with dolls and stuff for my age,being told i was too old to cry and being hit to get punished.

I remeber that very clearly... being hit almost every time id see my father beacause i was apparently "Naughty", when in reality i was just diffferent, i was just struggerling to understand what i did wrong or why i was constantly being punished for nothing. It hurt me so much. Sometimes it would cause me to lash out at my mum and dad, screaming at the top of my lungs, begging to be told why i was being punished so hardly, but insead of remorse or being spoken to, i was just hit and sent to my room... grounded for who knows how long.

But even i didnt know the Horrible truth that was going on between my mum and dad while i was up there.

OK that was the first chapter guys, i hope you all really enjoyed it, im going to be writing a bit more of the next chapter tommrow, but for now give this chapter a like and comment below your thoughts and feelings.

Thanks for reading my little akumas xxx

Natalie xxx