art and stuff

I (kinda) love myself

For awhile now I've been having problems with my self image and just depression in general. I didn't like how I looked. I would rarely look into a mirror without having to immediately regret it. When I did look into a mirror I stood there silently listening to myself nit-pick all the little things that I didn't like about myself. Everything to my voice to my gut. I wasn't the fattest person at my school, but I didn't like the fact that I couldn't wear bikinis without feeling insecure about how "fat" I was. All this started in grade 5 when I was hanging out with the "losers" (not that I had anything again this group of people). There was this group of guys that would bully me and my friends. They would make fun of us every single day. Every time my friends would just shrug it off like nothing ever happened, but to me It was hell. Every little insult was implanted in my brain. I couldn't take it anymore so by the start of grade 7 I made new friends. I felt horrible for leaving my old friends, and finding new ones. But once I did find new friends the guys stopped bullying me. But the depression kept on coming back at me telling me "that I wasn't good enough" or out of guilt of leaving all my old friends. The only thing that got me through it was friendship. It might sound stupid but without my in real life friends and my online friends, I probably wouldn't be here right now.
Thank you all. You guys are true heroes

My depression has gotten so much better in this past year. I haven't cut in months and I've had fewer melt downs. I can finally look into the mirror and love myself for who I am not how I wish to look. I do have those days though, were my thoughts have consumed me, but I'm just glad to feel a bit better.

The only reason that I'm telling you this is that, things will get better. I used to not think that they could, but they will! I promise on my life. Please just keep holding on to that thread. Don't let go, no matter what happens.

Thank you all.
I love you❤️
Don't give up!