Part of my life story (my climb)

Climb

Dear, stranger

Why am I writing this who knows I'm just another insignificant person writing but it feels right so here's my writing what I have to offer.

Why do I feel as though I'm always falling as though I can't hold on, well because I am deep down I know I don't matter so why try. I find inspiration from puddles on sidewalks there's always a hidden story lurking round the corner, fears come creeping up on you and cast you away but still holding is all you can do because you hate life but death is to much to handle.

Weak, I'm weak I'm pansexual, advanced in school, alive yet I hate life I hate myself I want to let go. I look at others around me and try to lift them up bring them happiness that I cannot aspire to have myself because I know I'm unreasonable that I'm being stupid but life is so much to take in it's hard to keep my grip.

Seventh grade what a life I live eighth grade math twelfth grade reading level I seem to live a fabulous life seeing how smart I am but all my dad sees is a grade gone wrong I'm smarter than my siblings and I'm jealous of how they can live being average.

Average a word I aspire to be normal but the stigma of different will never leave but I can be something I can do anything but what about how I just want to run away live somewhere new see new people fall in love find someone something.

Love what a silly word because it's something that's exclusive, it's not for everyone it's a chemical that can change your life it can make you avoid your friends close yourself off go back to grade school when no one would talk to you and you were alone. Love won't come by no matter how you wish it so, you most likely won't find anyone but the hope that you helps you hold on my grip becomes stronger.

I look around me and see broken people that I've ruined because I'm a horrible friend I want to climb higher it's always a competition I hate my friends for being able to be happy at all I'm jealous and I hate myself for not supporting them. My grip lessens.

Though I'm able to climb up as I see the people around me they believe in me so I can't disappoint them I need to climb for them I can't let go. I climb falling in love with a friend, I need to climb higher though so I move on climbing I know I'm not normal I'm different I'm weak, pansexual, I'm advanced, I won't let my friends down I won't let people down I may not believe in myself but I know I can do it.

I can accept myself, I can love, I can live.

Love, @MyDearAmi