In His Arms

Panimula

"I didn't wish for a life like this. So, don't you say I'm lucky when in fact I'm not!"

Isang malakas na sampal ang natanggap ko mula sa isa sa mga pinakakinamumuhian kong tao sa buong buhay ko.

Sanay na ako. Hindi lang iisang beses akong napagbuhatan ng kamay, hindi pa ba mamamanhid ang mga pisngi ko, hindi ba?

Life is an irony. Its ironic because the people who are supposed to take good care of me, always leaves me. The people who are supposed to be my comfort zone, turns out to be my hell.

"What's the fuss all about? Binibigay naman namin lahat ng gusto mo pero ang tigas parin talaga ng ulo mo! Di ka na nadala. You're such a disgrace to our family!" Mom said.

The people who are supposed to be complimenting me for the good work, always sees the wrong ones I did.

"Why do you have to be the one to stay? Bakit 'di nalang ang kuya mo ang nabuhay mula sa aksidenteng 'yon?" Dad said.

The people who are supposed to love me, turns out to be the one who wants me gone.

It hurts.

It. Truly. Hurts.

But of course, I have to endure it. Survival of the fittest as it is.

"Siguro kasi you're not the right parents for kuya because your attitude sucks that's why God punished you and give a rebellious one like me." I stated as a matter of fact.

Isang sampal. At isa pa ulit. Nanggigil sa akin si Mommy--oh wait. She's not my mom, because if she is, she won't do it to me.

Tiningnan ko si Dad. Hindi para manghingi ng tulong. Kundi para tingnan kung anong gagawin niya din bukod sa pagsampal sa akin ni Mom. I'm excited to know. I'm looking forward to it.

Ramdam ko ang pamamaga ng pisngi ko.

Pero I did not cry.

I won't. Ever.

They can say all they want. They can do what they want to do with me.

But I won't give them the satisfaction to see my weakness.

Through the years, I learned to make my heart stone-hard. Through the years, I already have a wild heart.

Isang malamig na tingin ang iginawad ko sa kanilang dalawa. I've decided already. Mas mabuti pang umalis nalang din ako.

Alam kong dadating ang araw na ito. Kaya noon palang, naghanda na ako.

"How dare you?! Baka nakakalimutan mong kami parin ang mga magulang mo kaya you don't have the rights to talk back to us like that!" Sigaw ni mom.

Kinapa niya ang kanyang dibdib. Nakikita kong nahihirapan na siyang huminga. But, I don't care. That's what they get for making me suffer. Mentally. Emotionally.

Inalalayan siya ni Dad na halatang nagpipigil lang ng galit. Nagpipigil pagbuhatan ako ng kamay.

"You.. you g-get out of my house! I don't want to see your face ever again!" Nanggagalaiting sabi ni mom.

I smirked.

I knew it.

"Don't worry mom, dad, you don't have to force me to leave. I'm more than willing." I said.

And with that, I turned my back.

And as soon as I took three steps away from them, I looked back.

"One more thing, if we see each other once again, I won't address you as my parents anymore, if that is what's bothering you." Then, I left.

Good God. He did gave me the perfect parents. The perfect life. And I'm truly honored to have them, but I'm more priveleged to leave.

I pack my things, get all the cash I have, and left the credit cards aside.

Sisiguraduhin kong wala nang matitirang koneksiyon sa pagitan ko at ng aking mga magulang.

I'm sorry kuya.

I really am.

I looked around my room for the last time. And suddenly, my mind wandered at 'that' time. My darkest nightmare.

"Hush, stop crying now Ivo, I'm here. I won't let them hurt you." kuya Vio whispered.

We are currently hiding in this dark place, God knows where. Five people in black appeared in front of us  earlier and dragged us in this foreign rendezvous.

Kanina pa din ako umiiyak dahil natatakot ako. I'm just 10 and kuya's just 14 and yet we are already undergoing this kind of  fear. This kind of experience.

Hindi ako matigil sa pag-iyak kaya tinakpan ni kuya Vio ang bibig ko. Lumakas pa lalo ang kaba ko nang makarinig ako ng mga yabag ng paa papunta sa kinaroroonan namin.

Nakita kong napapikit si kuya habang tumutulo narin ang kanyang mga luha.

If we're on another situation, I will be amused to see kuya cry. But right now, all I feel is the fright on what might happen to us.

"Hey kids. Come out now. I swear, wala kaming gagawing masama sa inyo." Rinig kong sabi ng isang lalake.

Humigpit ang hawak ni kuya sa akin. I getting more and more scared. Just shit.

"Ivo, always remember that I love you okay?" Sabi ni kuya.

Naguluhan ako sa mga sinasabi niya. I mean, why the hell would he say that to me right now? Unless, he would do something really stupid.

"Kuya, what do you mean?" I whispered. I wish I am wrong on what I'm thinking. Because if I'm not, shit'll happen.

"Look, you run, while I take care of those bastards." He uttered.

I froze. Not this, please. I really don't like sacrifices. No, not this time.

I shook my head.

"No kuya. I won't do that."

"I promise, susunod ako." He assured. Come on! Like that would ever happen the moment he appears in front of them!

Tinulak ako ni kuya palayo.

Then, he goes where those punks are.

I'm continously crying even though I know this won't help.

A lady show up, smirking. She is talking to my brother but I can't understand any of those.

I watched them while they make kuya suffer.

I watched them and I can't do anything.

My eyes widen when the lady pull out a gun and pointed it to my brother's head. Kuya stood still as if he knew this would happen. I hate those people. And I freaking hate my parents for not doing anything.

Why aren't they find us, yet? Why?

Nakita kong sumulyap sa kinaroroonan ko si Kuya. He mouthed something as if telling me to run.

A moment of silence..

Then..

Then..

Then..

Bang!

Bumalik ang isip ko sa kasalukuyan. Ramdam ko ang bigat sa loob ko. Surely, I'm still affected even though years already passed. I still can't believe what happened.

I hate people.

I hate kuya.

I hate him.

Pumanhik na ako para umalis. I carried all my things with me. I carried all my feelings of hatred with me. I carried all I have with me.

And as I take steps away from this house,

as I take steps away from this life,

I wonder what life will be waiting for me?

**
(c) magdalen-a

A/N: I'm trying to write a serious one guys! Lol.