Burning Sensation

Letting Go

It's selfish of me,
Even to think such things,
And I'm well-aware of that,
So I need to let this out
Because this feeling
Has been gnawing
At me for too long.
I can't hold it in anymore,
Otherwise it will come out
In someway that's tragic.

You may know
What I will say,
And you may defend me
As always, but you need
To silence yourself
And take the time
To listen just so
You know who you're truly
With instead of living
Under this false idea of me.

It feels touching
That you think I'm selfless,
And I'd be lying
If I say I myself isn't deceived,
But there's this thing
Called reality that creeps
In to remind me
And you, especially you
That this isn't the case.

It's quite the opposite
Actually, and I hate it
Just as much as you do
Whenever faced with the truth.
Don't get me wrong.
I tried to turn your lie
Into the truth,
Only to fall so short
When I realize I can't
Escape my nature
After doing an unforgivable deed.

What I'm trying to say
Is that I love you
With the feeling being mutual,
But the truth
Is that I'm bad for you.
I am nowhere near
This pure-hearted person
You see in me no matter
How many times I try.

I'd hate to let you go,
But I must because
You don't deserve
A self-absorbed maniac
Like me, especially
When you can
Find someone better,
Someone who actually
Means it when
They say they'll do
Anything to make you smile,
Even at the expense
Of their well-being.

As much as it pains
Me, and the fact I already
Have second thoughts
About this decision,
I'm letting you go
Even though it goes against
My heart's desire,
But believe it or not,
This is the most selfless
Act I'm doing for you.

Go and find someone else,
A person worthy
To be your spouse
While you leave
Me behind, and never
Come back. I know
It won't be easy,
So know that this
Is as hard for me
As it is to you.
Goodbye...
And forget we ever met.